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Deep and Honest

I felt the extra seconds
With my arms around your neck,
Yours down my lower back,

When I hugged you
For the first time in so long
You almost shuddered.

And I think we already knew
Walking early in the morning,
When it was only talking,

Deep and honest
That I was into you
And you wanted into me.

That you didn’t have a tent
Lead to keeping conversation,
Baiting breath at each sensation,

Words stopped by fingers
Slowly asking at my hips
If I’d missed you.

It just kind of happened
When we kissed,
And you bit my bottom lip,

I could have melted
Like my clothes
If my body wasn’t burning.

You pulled me under
Pinning with your chest,
Pressing hard onto my breasts,

Touching tongues
And pulling back
To watch me waiting.

Biting at my neck
At my nipples raw and red,
My hands grasping at your head,

I made it out
Breathing down to denim
And begging buckles open.

Wanting everything
You were between my lips,
While watching dripping hips,

You slipped from my throat
Across my breasts
And to my stomach.

A little painfully
You were into me,
And it was utter ecstasy,

Hearing hardened breath
And flesh
Filling to capacity.

Author notes

This is still in the first draft stages, if you will. IMO, end = truly weak (poetically ).

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Lady Voldemort silver member
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    aaahhhhh

    NOOOO! I WANT MORE!! You think the end is weak because IT'S NOT THE END. You need to add moorrrree!!! *ahem* excuse me...

    >_<


    • sca
      July 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      If you're more into the bump and grind of sex I'd suggest reading Like a Whore or Licking Lips. (not to plug my own work at all, but that's the more if you want it).


  • Jarrod
    March 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this and how it progressed into more and more until, BAM the ending hits hard and fast, a pretty good erotica if you ask me!!!


  • Maddogk
    March 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty damn intense.
    This takes me back to my first time...
    [But from the other point of view...lol]
    Unfortunately I'm a Monk in the hills of Himalaya now...[feels like it..lol.]....[ok that was B.S.] but I liked your write all the same... Has a 'real feel' about it. [deep down honesty]...
    Great write...

    Jeffro


  • CoolHandLuke
    March 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    delicious

    Haha, this was really great to read.
    'Deep and honest
    That I was into you
    And you wanted into me.'
    Isn't that the case of any male, loved your words hun.
    Thanks for your comments. I do believe the poetry speaks for the person as well.
    Nice write


  • sheltered
    March 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love it, raw and uninhibited.


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    March 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It was a good write a little to graphic to be sensual but it was good just the same Thanks for sharing it.

  • PalmettoSky
    March 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A little painfully
    You were into me,
    And it was utter ecstasy,

    Hearing hardened breath
    And flesh
    Filling to capacity;


    very nice. for the beginning of a draft, you have already found your way...
    thanks for sharing...


  • Afflicted Affection
    March 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    LOVE IT!

    I adore this poem so much! Great details, such emotions!


  • BabyBun silver member
    March 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    mmm mmm mmm can't wait for my man to get home tonight after reading this ha ha! I enjoyed it and could picture it all. Wonderful


  • Water Color Sky
    March 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    *Touches poem* Sizzel...... steamy! Nice work!!!!! This is a great peice! I love the opening stanzas! They were amazing! Thanks for sharing!!
    -Ashley


  • Dr Satan
    March 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Steamy.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    March 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    My gosh, but this is HOT and sultry! Very well done!!! Steamy and seductive to the max! Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest!


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    March 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    But next time
    I’m not going down
    ...without a fight...

    I am amzed with the presentation and strucutre of the sentiments here..it is indeed a great heartfelt work is here..but the last lines made me to think althought..still I love this great poem my friend...

1 - 14 of 14