Flashlight
Needed night tool
Full of unfelt power
White shining all around the desk
Feels like fire if touched by a grasshopper
Useful, yet shaped like a trash can
It's fun to stare by that
Never thrown out
Flashlight
Author notes
Hello everybody,
Age: 10, I'm excited to try to see if I have done well on a form I've never tried before!
I would really like a better title if you could help me with that. Thanks!
In a list
A contest entry
- RICTAMETERS!!!!!!!! by sunny day.
1750 points, ended March 20, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter poems you genuinely want to improve by Danna Hobart.
415 points, ended April 27, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
My first rictameter, so please be nice if you'd like me to edit
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A new form on me, and you did a great job. It was
a very unusual subject and I enjoyed it.
Dixie
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Before this, I would have thought that titling a poem would be an easy job. You have no idea how much thought I have put into this. Flashlight is the obvious title, but you seem to not want to go with the obvious. Here is a list of titles that came to mind. Maybe you can choose from among them.
Light up my life.
Unfelt Power
White Light
Electric Torch
Night Light
I hope that one of those feels right to you.
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Good job!
I think you did a nice job on this piece! A very practical poem... Good job... Keep up the ggod work, and good luck in the contest!
Debi
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These forms are great ones to use and you have done a great job with this one - your first. Always good to try new forms and improve your skill. Good for you!
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I enjoy it when poets take non poetic items and give us a poem that flows. You did very well with this form. Thank you for entering this contest.
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This is very cute and such a shining rictameter that you entered to the contest. I want to tell you that you had the syllable count right on and I commend you for going and trying new forms. I love form poetry and you did very well with this. The battery must have been fresh because the flashlight shined brightly. Thank you for entering and best wishes in my contest. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Cute! I loved it. The flashlight is pretty interesting, being shaped like a garbage can and what not. Great work here! :) ~Pixie~
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well this is a different style but I like the word choice you used. and if you changed the format from left to center I am really sure it would look really cool.
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