when I first felt the rip
in my brand new ball gown,
could I finish the trip?
I had tucked and I’d stitched
to make it fit just right
but I must o’ drank one too many
to make it through the night
as I hurried offstage
for my next appearance to ready
I felt a bit suffocated
and a little unsteady
but trooper that I am
and not faint of heart
I donned my gown for the eve
but gave a quick start
for much to my chagrin
and to my surprise
my gown seemed to have shrunk
more than one size
I tried and I tried
to stuff myself into it
but to no avail
I just wouldn’t fit
what to do now, I thought
as time was running out
a slit up the side
would do it, no doubt
so then off I went
down the runway once more
and in my sassy new dress,
made a mighty good score
next came the highlight
of this competition
the swim wear class
of such great dimension
there were whistles and applause
but o’r the din and the roar
could be heard the groans of the ladies
as I came through the door
for when they saw me
in my brief swim attire
and how in our dear king
I’d lit such a fire
they all knew it was hopeless
they had not a chance
of defeating the catz
as my boobs did a dance
I flaunted them heartlessly
right in front of his face
if it wasn’t for our ages
‘twould have been a disgrace
but the king’s happy now
for he got his wish
of glorifying his dream
of one hot looking dish
and the guys were all happy
their dreams also came true
they drank one more Moxie
and then bowed to King Hugh
so in spite of the mishaps
of way too small dresses
Hugh liked the size of my swimsuit
and the boobs, it impresses
… eat your hearts out, ladies
dee garner
© march 10, 2007
Adding your comment:
That dancing boob thing...do you give lessons, by any chance? I'd even be willing to pay for the lesson. 
Love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
and did you hear all the wolf whistles and applause?
(all's fair in love and beauty contests) 
