A chime danced back and forth
stunning her ear-drums.
Her fingernail had only grazed the wall
and created such a ring.
She’d been pondering an escape route
for so long, it only seemed natural
to flick the glass that moulded her thoughts.
Author notes
Drank too much wine; wrote this.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
so you wrote this when you were a bit tipsy? It's a pity I don't fancy wine, otherwise I'd try it immediately
Anyway, if I'm not mistaken there's a little oopsie in first line here:
fourth (as in 4th) should be 'forth'? Not sure though, and please correct me if I'm wrong
-
Surprised how beautifully , you expressed your emotion in limited lines itself. Its shows greatness of the poet.
-
Very nice
This was a fun poem to read. Alcohol does make us see things a little different. The Shaker
-
awesome
Nicola if this is what ,too much wine, does to you then you should be perpetually drunk it would be a gift to the poetic world on a serious note-this poem is awesome- it has an almost magical aura about it ,with ,'A chime danced back and fourth'-this sets the mood-
-
It's amazing what you can come up with when you don't have all of wits about you. some of the most creative and beautiful work happens that way. I really like it!
-
Oh. This is a very nice poem that you have here. I like it. I thought your author notes about writing this when you were drunk, was funny. It made me look at your border in a different way. I liked how it turned out. Maybe you should write like that more often!
-
That must have been sum kind of wine...
It is a lovely write...
Keep that magical pen flowing...
ELmarie
-
lovely.
i've been inspired by vodka before, haven't considered writing after drinking el wine, but i'll consider it.
anyways, love this poem; it's fantasticly drunken and purrrty
-
Fantastic!!!!!
This was not sweet, nor sensual, really not dark, not sure what it is, but I loved it! There is just something wonderful about it!!! Thanks for sharing. Drink on, umm, oops sorry, I mean write on! -
lovely...
Im often inspired by wine as well.
-
I wish wine had inspired such deeply thought provoking writes like this from me, sadly not so. Great write, enjoyable read.
-
That is wonderful. I really thought that was an awesome. Piece. One can read so, so deeply into this. Hmm, I'd like to go ponder now...
-
VERY GOOD!!!
This is an EXCELLENT poem!! I love every single
line in this piece of work. But my favorite line
is to flick the glass that moulded her thoughts.
SPECTACULAR!!
-
I love the last line. I can hear the wineglass tinkle as you flick it. I guess drinking can be an escape of sorts, but you always come back and usually feeling the worse for wear.
-
I found this poem beautifully (and perhaps drunkenly) written. I think you did a pretty good job. But then again the only good poems I ever write are through drunken tears (hehe).
I love these lines, I do not even know why, something just clicks in my brain. I relate to it, even though I seem to not fully understand it.
"for so long, it only seemed natural
to flick the glass that moulded her thoughts."
Awesome poem, thanks for sharing.
-
First impression is that this is good, something to think about and reread. I heard the chime.
My favorite line is the first but all are good.
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
