Cloudless summer eve, sunset tumble into dusk,
chasing mellowing horizon,
Sat outside in breezeless air, glass in hand, creaking chair
of rickety white plastic,
Peaceful conversation, murmured laughter
ebb and flow.
Author notes
the perfect summers evening... sitting in the garden with friends, maybe after a bbq, kids off playing in the trees, murmured conversation, laughter, you get the picture
lucy sky-diamond
A contest entry
- 10 lines or less, prewrites allowed! by Floorboards.
425 points, ended March 13, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EASIEST contest in the world!!!!! Everything & Nothing !!!!!! by ibsons hysops.
302 points, ended June 5, 2007, 85 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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I get the picture. Summer nights can be the most wonderful thing! And you've done a good job creating the feeling!
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i adore nights like that.
i also adore poems that make me truly feel a certain way (especially when it's a good feeling). this is one of them :]
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Ahh, so peaceful and calming. Lovely poem.
good luck in the contest
best wishes as always
~Autumn Whisper~ -
Oh such a treasured vision
Brought back memories when I was a child where we would lean our chairs agaist the house and eat lime ice with a spoon and laugh as children once did -
encore`
if you write this well at 14 the world would be unwise not to wait to see what emerges from your pen once life has dealt you other hands
i liked it
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This is beautiful!
I love the tranquil emotions
that come out from this one.
Well done and thanks for sharing
this here. Keep up the wonderful work!
Jeremy0826 -
very poetic... I liked this a lot. It is calming and comes off well. The imagery is also good and like always- I think you have talent!
-AtiVan -
THIS IS SO PEACEFUL!
This poem is so relaxing, so peaceful! I have this wonderful picture of a warm quiet summer night in my mind.
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Excellent
You really captured a mellow mood and summery atmosphere in a very short and sweet. I can both picture and feel the scene you've poetically captured. Congratulations on winning a trophy- you certanly deserved it and more.
All the best,
David Michaels
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AH!
Well it is obvious you have talent and I have told you so more times than I can count. You do an exquisite job with everything. Now, I must say one thing bothers me in this writing. The very end, you get the picture... ahhh... don't know about that part? Nevertheless, I am a jackass so who can really rely on me .... HAH! such a jockester am I
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Interesting image but romantic possibilities slightly bspoiled for me (Bartholomew Mole) by plastic chair. Wjy not other more romantic and natural material? But "sunset tumble into dusk" good phraseology!
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I love this, it flows extremely well and i can't see one filler word. Brilliant last line, finishes the poem off well and indeed concludes a Summers eve.
This made me smile so thank you
x.x
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Thank you for the requested edit, submission has been noted.
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Tranquil
Loved this piece, simple poetic beauty.
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Thank you for your contest submission, I do need to ask you review the rules and edit your submission appropriately. Please IM me and let me know this has been done, thank you.
A wonderfully short piece on the joys of summer on the porch, something I and My love enjoy to do and cannot wait for it to get just a bit warner here to do so. Course this year will be different for us as we have no porch and no real lawn now, hehe, but eventually hope to change both. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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Beautiful. I like this a lot. The visual is great and the peace that this write makes is brilliant.
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What a lovely poem. I can feel the dusk and smell the night coming here. Congrats on your bronze and well done.
jill
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Thanks for letting me listen to your thoughts
I like right now the creaking of the chair.
Tomorrow it may be something else, like the "sunset tumble into dusk."
Oh this is perfect for the golden light time of the advent of the setting St. Patrick's sun. What a damn good but strange night and day one has had so far.
Damn good.
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I love this poem! It's short but it captures so much in so few words. It brought back some fond memories for me and I cant wait for the summer after reading this. Great job!!!
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Wonderful
Congratulations on the trophy. Very well done.
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Congratulations on Your trophy win!
Happy for You
Excellent job!!
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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impressive
i really like this one, i love the gentle imagery, thanks a lot for entering my contest and good luck,
floorboards. -
This is such a relaxing scene you've painted. Very peaceful, I love it. Great work.
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Wonderful-
Beautiful feeling after inhaling this~
Very relaxing and the images come to Life
Loved this!
Thank You for sharing
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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It paints a beautiful picture of summer time.
Thanks for your entry. Good luck in my contest!
Be Serene,
Spread Peace,
Harrisham Minhas.
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Summers Coming!
What a pretty picture. I guess there is not much better that what you have portrayed here. Life is sweet in this picture and I enjoyed the vacation, if only for a moment.
Keep up the good work you got going here, truly.
Peace,
Creatress
If I had applause, it would be yours!
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