Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

photographs

 

 





She wears her hair up in every picture
like she's afraid of the sound
of letting it loose
just once

like there is voodoo in the swish
of burnt mahogany kept prisoner
in chignons, schoolmarm buns
and the one time she played pretend
in braids plaited tight to her smile

as if purity was defiled in a tumble
down her backbone, heaven
unreachable with strands waving

and you knew that every style consisted
of a hundred brush strokes
sat down in front of a vanity
mirror, gilded gold.
Knew follicles screamed in relief
at their release, that fingers
massaged them into compliancy
to await another day of torture trapped

but in every capture there's
a wink of red
that glints the truth of when
no-one was looking--

 

 

 




 

Author notes

I think... this may be finished. Now.

In a list

?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Cherokee
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Girl, I could read your stuff all day...


    • Annalise
      August 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you



      See... now you just have to explain that to all the publishers and maybe I wouldn't get so many rejection slips. It's a cruel (poetry) world out there.


  • dking
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Perfect! You're my newest favorite! Great observation of the humanity and life behind an old photo.


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    March 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My GM had hair down to her derrier, I wondered what a chore it musty have been to tend all that through life.

    Nice one!


  • misselaineous
    March 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply


  • poet2angels gold member
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    I love this poem...
    Another beautiful example of why you are the best....

    Lynda


  • JazzALTernative silver member
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Really cool - real cool - this is like jazz. The hair pulling at the smile - what better way to show the connection of our image to how we feel about ourselves - like a fold in the box, where two meet - imagination and body. This grabbed my attention - everything else fanned out from there.


  • -ButterflyCuts-
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There's something so sexy about voodoo in poetry. .

    I adore the first stanza. My only criticism would be the over-use of 'like'. I thin kit works if you use it twice, but three times felt a little too much..

    This was gorgeous though. x

    • Annalise
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      The one place I'm not fond of with this is S4- the whole "hair treatments"... I think the can of beer is overkill, but I felt it needed a threesome there to make it complete.

      Oh, hell... I don't know. I just wanted to get something posted, and this was the closest to being "finished".

    • Annalise
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply


      I "as if'd" one of the likes and killed out another one all together...

      I like, like the word like, you know? Like, it's cool and stuff. Like, you know?

      So valley girl at times.

      • -ButterflyCuts-
        March 10, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        I think it's ok.. maybe a little bit of a mouth-full, but that works as well. x

        Yea, I'm so drained from drama, i'm sitting here -trying- to write.. x


      • -ButterflyCuts-
        March 10, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Totally! I'm a totally girl.. totally wow awesome shit

        x looks a lot better x--x

1 - 14 of 14