Twinkle questions set their flash
in a blink's reality.
Spurts of numinous baubles are conjured in the wondering,
dangling by a scorching mind thread,
exploding like fireworks, images scream their luster,
profoundly etching their language
upon one's clay of ponderings.
Spheres of luminosity
collect to bounce in the blood,
one finds whispers of transcendence, so golden and thriving.
Coming awake during the ageless waltz
where the brain takes the hand
of ancient seer's caresses,
who first heard a light's symphony of revealing.
Breath strokes ascend a starry staircase,
memories soon ride on mushrooming plumes of meaning,
towards a vibrant sunrise,
burning inside from the intensity.
Till we know without being told,
speaking from the sheer stunning of discovered identity
with the river of celestial lucidity.
Becoming gems instead of stones,
tap dancing in serene steps
upon the cobblestones of pure insight.
A contest entry
- ~Enlighten Me~ by deleteit.
300 points, ended March 10, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Phenomenon #5 by Ryno.
300 points, ended April 13, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Great Poetry! by Not-The-Sun.
650 points, ended June 29, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Golden Arena~ by Virgoan.
500 points, ended July 18, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is truly beautiful and very worthy of another gold trophy. Congratulations and keep penning dear poet!
- joanne
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Thank you for the wonderful comment
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Indeed enlightening! Wonderful...
Thanks so much for sharing this exceptional piece. I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
~VIRGOAN~
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Thank you for the wonderful comment.
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quite the descriptive words there, certainly took me awhile to read this one aloud good luck and thanks for entering
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Thank you for the kind comment.
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Sigh .. you never cease to amaze me ... never.
Look at these phrases!
"Spheres of luminosity
collect to bounce in the blood,"
Gheesh, I'm never going to be of any help ... just stuck in a time warp say ... "Great job!"
Thanks for entering Prewrites, best wishes, thanks for sharing.
~Ryan~
PS~ You are not eligible for the Gold Trophy, as you have already won, but are eligible for Silver, Bronze and HMs. -
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Thank you for the wonderful comment. And I understand about the trophy rule. No problem.
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Word power
At first when I began reading, I asked myself what is this about? The wording webbed like you have done did just that, caught me like a fly in the web...I read on, as a reader I felt caught in a celestial world laid out before my actuality....floating adrift through the starry sky wondering what will play out next. Will you expand on this? I feel you could very well expand this, maybe draw more of humanity into it, plights, paths, decisions. I however would not cease the using of your word power. I loved the way you used words -
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Thank you for the great comment. I'll have to give some thought to if I could expand on this as a poem.
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where do you get such amazing words. You make this poem look easy to do, but I know from personal experience that it's not that easy. You're a natural at it. Congratulations on the gold trophy. Looks like you earned it.
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this poem was realy cool
so much said
alot of images
great work
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Thank you so much for the nice comment.
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great write, reminds me of developement of brain synapsis and neural nets firing creating memories of something where once there was nothing. "becoming gems instead of stones"...
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Thank you.
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brilliant!!
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Thank you.
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magnificenent.
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Thank you.
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Wonderful metaphors and imagery for enlightenment. Enjoyed the fantastic vocabulary used here but I think in line 20 that you want "sheer" not "shear" perhaps? Regardless, a truly vivid write.
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Thank you for the great comment and for pointing out the error with the word sheer. I really appreciate it.
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Enlightened
Penman, you poem uses all sortsa crazy metaphors to knida make a large mosaic of an image. Like all these little pictures form a much larger image of somrthing else...now what that is, I am not so sure. Knowledge? Experience? Life and Death? Whatever it is, The poem is definitely interesting.
It is hard to really grasp the best line ine this poem cuz, well they are all so abstract. Spheres of luminosity
collect to bounce in the blood," would have to be my fav. Nice job Picasso.
~SI
+==}========*
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Thanks for the great comment. I guess I did want to keep the imagery abstract so each person could see what it meant for them.
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It has a lot of great imagery, but what's your intenet? What do you want the reader to know about this piece?
otherwise, a good read.
but where's the meat of it?
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Thank you for commenting. It is about reflections about discovery. How we find and react to what we learn.
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I just noticed that you were spotlighted. [spotlit?] Congratulations on the gold in the contest.
I know I'm wrong, but this poem looks to me, like the light spheres are actually electric brainwaves, or rather how the the human mind works. But I definitely see the enlightenment part to the poem. The way you portrayed that action is grand. I love the depth you put into the piece.
The flow you have in the poem, is marvelous. It mostly shines through at the end with the rhyme of "intensity/identity/lucidity" but the whole work flows effortlessly.
The way you were able to keep to the theme, but also insert brilliant, connective imagery in the poem, is an impeccable characteristic to the piece. I especially love the stanza(s) that the title mostly corresponds to. From the eighth to fourteenth line, the wording is gorgeous and flaunts an amazing intellect.
The ending is also superb. It gives a great summary, while also seeming to hold a personal message of it's own.
Excellent pen.
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As usual, you are totally correct with the idea this represents enlightenment. You never fail to amaze me with the depths of your gift for seeing all there is to see in a poem.
I didn't even know this was spotlighted myself. I'm thrilled somebody liked it enough to nominated it. Thank you for such wonderful comments.
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I especially like the tap dancing upon cobblestones of insight.And congrads on the gold too!
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Thank you for the congratulations.
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Powerful-
Beautifully penned Sweetness
Words of Wisdom to enlighten and feed the Soul!
Thank You for sharing this
Loved It!!
Congratulations on Your trophy win!!
Well deserved
Wonderful and I am so Proud of You
Many blessings to You!
Best wishes too
and my Love
~ Desire~*~
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Thank you darling. You always make me inspired so much.
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You do have a way with words! Such a beautiful write! Your words just seem to embrace the soul from start to finish. I liked it all but the last lines, yeah that really summed it up so nicely! Thanks so much for entering and best of luck in the contest
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Thank you so much. I loved the idea of your contest. Really touched my muse.
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Perfection!!!!
Wow, this is fantasticly amazing... vividly stunning. I feel you most certainly know what you are talking about in this most precious of poems. I am going to bookmark this piece. Well done and thankyou for sharing such wonderful poetry with us.
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You really know how to leave an incredible comment. Thank you so much.
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