The screams that call me from my dreams
the horror that should follow
his world is being torn at the reams,
though I do not feel hollow.
He lies prostrate on the ground
the people round him riot,
he doesn't move, nor make a sound
and still I lay there quiet.
His end has come, the bell doth toll,
for now he's being called,
and shattered is his golden bowl,
yet still, my body stalled.
Now was it fear, or better here,
a stronger feeling unknown
that wouldn't let me interfere
while he dies on the stone.
The front door then bursts asunder
the cavalry's arrived,
and herein I am forced to wonder
why he didn't survive.
I felt much sorrow for his pain
but not because of his passing
for considering now, his broken chain
his peace is everlasting.
Though their efforts bore no fruit,
their actions weren't in vain,
for in those medics I've seen the truth,
that people are still humane.
Author notes
I accidently wrote this twice because I thought I had to write the poem in my account first, sorry.
A contest entry
- March New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended April 6, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very nicely done. It is easy to grab the full effect and I see that you got your stanzas broken up as Sharcu suggested. I think you do a great job of pointing out that no effort is wasted effort when it comes to trying to help others.
Best of luck in the contest
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That is awesome! Wow! One thought before I forget is for you to try and split this up into stanzas. That'll help the reader so they read one stanza at a time and help with the flow. But I loved your creative rhymes, the flow, and your choice of vocabulary was excellent. Thanks for taking the time to enter
--Tim -
Thank you for entering.
This poem flowed so well... sometimes when reading a large piece, we can be distracted because of the length of the poem, however, this was beautifully penned and the need for separate stanzas is not necessary I feel here.
Well done and thank you for entering
~Katie~
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Thanks for entering
A sad event that crossed your path but it is always good to know that some good did come from such a tragic moment of another. The poem has a good fluid flow that enhances the emotions and mood of the piece.
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!
This was a very delightful rhyming poem for me to read, I liked the flow and the feel this has left me with. Sad and beautiful
Thank you very much for taking the time to write for and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to AllpoetryDove
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Thanks for your entry
Beautifully expressed. A sad, heartwrenching but lovely poem indeed.
Your last line had me in tears. It's so sad when it takes such tragic events for us to truly see there are those who still care deeply.
Thank you so much for entering our contest.
Gaylene
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