eternity bound the audacious russet rocks remain
as markers of valor on remote mesas
for tis where my father and i boldly trod, hearts together
waving loving farewells to our kind women folk
as we strode away to wasteful war
confronting musket, shell and sniper
we grit our teeth in yellowest fear
that our hearts would not see them again
papa died and we shed a tear
as drinking whiskey, neat, we toast him afresh
it's never the same without his warm love
his clever mind and listening ear
til dark days creep ginger and steal my breath
i miss him deep and gloomily
and, failing, i cannot replace the golden days
Author notes
true love is symbolised
A contest entry
- Walk the Line by hoodoolover.
600 points, ended March 12, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very nice language you have brought to life in your poem, I fancied myself upon a moor somewhere. I think you may have a look at the tenses in your poem it seemed to switch back and forth from past to present with in the first stanza, a nice entry and I thank you very much
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