Those [micro]-[scopic]
l.i.t.t.l.e .blue. _pills_
you call your ~|eyes|~
left me +over_dosed+
after my ♥
(s-w-a-l-l-o-w-e-d)
them w-h-o-l-e
Tiny .d.o.t.s.
*g*l*i*m*m*e*r*e*d*
before these =ha/z/el=
optics; [flu]-[fluttering]
{closed} with #$g\l\i\t\t\e\r$#
_blinding_ my logic
&& I'm f
a
l
l
i
n
g
d
o
w
n into your |~g.r.a.c.e~|
You [tote] your #x-guns-x#
like real p r o s
These b.u.t.t.e.r.f.l.y
-x-stitches-x- reopen
&& I _collapse_
into the ♥euphoria♥
those {arctic} ~i~c~e~
glaciers bring
Taste me ^up^ and _down_
then .a.l.l. around
while I'm +i_n_h_a_l_i_n_g+
your n~i~c~o~t~i~n~e breath
&& when it's a l l o.v.e.r,
I'll o p e n ^u_p^ these
*g~l~i~t~t~e~r* |-g_l_o_s_s_e_d-|
eyes && be =|none|= the +wiser+
But baby, s
h
a
t
t
e
r
my s.o.u.l 1-one-1 more time,
and my ♥ will B U R S T
into f^l^a^m^e^s of d e s i r e
j.u.s.t for -♥-you-♥-
S h a k e up my {rib-cage} darling♥
I'll g i v e you something m.o.r.e
than just a _w-e-t_ ~d~r~e~a~m~
Who needs a drug a.d.d.i.c.t.i.o.n
when I've got -x-♥you♥-x-
Translation:
Those microscopic
little blue pills
you call your eyes
left me overdosed
after my heart
swallowed
them whole
Tiny dots
glimmered
before these hazel
optics; fluttering
closed with glitter
blinding my logic
and I'm f
a
l
l
i
n
g
d
o
w
n into your grace
You tote your guns
like real pros
These butterfly
stitches reopen
and I collapse
into the euphoria
those arctic ice
glaciers bring
Taste me up and down,
then all around
while I'm inhaling
your nicotine breath
and when it's all over,
I'll open up these
glitter glossed
eyes and be none the wiser
But baby, s
h
a
t
t
e
r
my soul one more time,
and my heart will burst
into flames of desire
just for you
Shake up my ribcage, darling;
I'll give you something more
than just a wet dream
Who needs a drug addiction
when I've got you
Author notes
Rose Dark Thorn.
I'm rather proud of this. Tell me what you think.
In a list
A contest entry
- ~*~All Your Dirty Pretty Comes Here~*~ by Midnight-x-Rose.
625 points, ended April 20, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Nice little metaphors here... I like the thought of being kind of hypnotized by someones eyes and yet using them as a metaphor for 'pills'. Tasty (not) never mess with the mind.
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Still love it. It's so goddamned amazing.
~Slip~
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mmm.. yummmy.. its cool how you ttranslate it but its not necessary ya know.. ♥ yet another poem that has me blown a w a y ♥
PrettyX -
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I leave a translation for people who don't like the punctuation. Thank you for your comment. ♥
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This is excellent Rose. I can't helpe but wonder how long it took you to write the thing! HA! Man, confuses my head. I'm glad you had the translation there too. Good luck in the contest.
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Probably around half an hour or something. I'm really liking this style, so been playing around with it for a while.
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i forgot the applause.
♥
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you should be proud.
this piece is gorgeous.
if i copied && paste my favorite parts here, i'd paste pretty much the entire poem.
this is a.maz.ing.
♥
good luck, baby.
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Thank you.
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.
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It was amazing
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Outstanding poem
This may be new but it seems like you really nailed it and you should be proud of that too. I thank you for share it with me and good luck in your challenge...
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shit! you should be proud of this!! its fantastic! the flow was great, the imagery was awesome and then you put an extra something to it with the way you wrote it.!! ha im sure you'll win this
♥
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Thank you for your lovely comment.
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S h a k e up my {rib-cage} darling♥
I'll g i v e you something m.o.r.e
than just a _w-e-t_ ~d~r~e~a~m~
Who n e e d s a drug a.d.d.i.c.t.i.o.n
when I've +|got|+ -x-♥you♥-x-
i absolutly adore this line
&& the whole entire poem
this is what i'm looking for
thank you for entering doll
&& good luck =]
♥ -
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Thank you. I'm rather new to this style, so that makes me happy.
Good luck with judging the contest.
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