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Blue Pills

Those [micro]-[scopic]
l.i.t.t.l.e .blue. _pills_
you call your ~|eyes|~
left me +over_dosed+
after my ♥
(s-w-a-l-l-o-w-e-d)
them w-h-o-l-e

Tiny .d.o.t.s.
*g*l*i*m*m*e*r*e*d*
before these =ha/z/el=
optics; [flu]-[fluttering]
{closed} with #$g\l\i\t\t\e\r$#
_blinding_ my logic
&& I'm f
          a
          l
          l
          i
          n
          g
        d
      o
  w
n into your |~g.r.a.c.e~|

You [tote] your #x-guns-x#
like real p r o s
These b.u.t.t.e.r.f.l.y
-x-stitches-x- reopen
&& I _collapse_
into the ♥euphoria♥
those {arctic} ~i~c~e~
glaciers bring

Taste me ^up^ and _down_
then .a.l.l. around
while I'm +i_n_h_a_l_i_n_g+
your n~i~c~o~t~i~n~e breath
&& when it's a l l o.v.e.r,
I'll o p e n ^u_p^ these
*g~l~i~t~t~e~r* |-g_l_o_s_s_e_d-|
eyes && be =|none|= the +wiser+

But baby, s
            h
          a
            t
          t
            e
          r
my s.o.u.l 1-one-1 more time,
and my ♥ will B U R S T
into f^l^a^m^e^s of d e s i r e
j.u.s.t for -♥-you-♥-

S h a k e up my {rib-cage} darling♥
I'll g i v e you something m.o.r.e
than just a _w-e-t_ ~d~r~e~a~m~
Who needs a drug a.d.d.i.c.t.i.o.n
when I've got -x-♥you♥-x-

Translation:

Those microscopic
little blue pills
you call your eyes
left me overdosed
after my heart
swallowed
them whole

Tiny dots
glimmered
before these hazel
optics; fluttering
closed with glitter
blinding my logic
and I'm f
          a
          l
          l
          i
          n
          g
        d
      o
  w
n into your grace

You tote your guns
like real pros
These butterfly
stitches reopen
and I collapse
into the euphoria
those arctic ice
glaciers bring

Taste me up and down,
then all around
while I'm inhaling
your nicotine breath
and when it's all over,
I'll open up these
glitter glossed
eyes and be none the wiser

But baby, s
            h
          a
            t
          t
            e
          r
my soul one more time,
and my heart will burst
into flames of desire
just for you

Shake up my ribcage, darling;
I'll give you something more
than just a wet dream
Who needs a drug addiction
when I've got you

Author notes

Rose Dark Thorn.

I'm rather proud of this. Tell me what you think.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Midnight-x-Rose
    July 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice little metaphors here... I like the thought of being kind of hypnotized by someones eyes and yet using them as a metaphor for 'pills'. Tasty (not) never mess with the mind.

  • SliptheFlitch
    April 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Still love it. It's so goddamned amazing.


    ~Slip~


  • Dead Star--x
    April 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    mmm.. yummmy.. its cool how you ttranslate it but its not necessary ya know.. ♥ yet another poem that has me blown a w a y ♥
    PrettyX

    • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
      April 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I leave a translation for people who don't like the punctuation. Thank you for your comment. ♥

  • Yunaleska gold member
    March 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent Rose. I can't helpe but wonder how long it took you to write the thing! HA! Man, confuses my head. I'm glad you had the translation there too. Good luck in the contest.


    • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
      March 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Probably around half an hour or something. I'm really liking this style, so been playing around with it for a while.

  • love.me.dead
    March 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i forgot the applause.


  • love.me.dead
    March 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you should be proud.
    this piece is gorgeous.
    if i copied && paste my favorite parts here, i'd paste pretty much the entire poem.


    this is a.maz.ing.


    good luck, baby.

  • Blazing White Wolf
    March 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .

  • KissingFairy
    March 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It was amazing
  • darrylblacksr
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding poem

    This may be new but it seems like you really nailed it and you should be proud of that too. I thank you for share it with me and good luck in your challenge...


  • Mildew in PinK tile
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    shit! you should be proud of this!! its fantastic! the flow was great, the imagery was awesome and then you put an extra something to it with the way you wrote it.!! ha im sure you'll win this


  • DarlingUnwrapMexx
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    S h a k e up my {rib-cage} darling♥
    I'll g i v e you something m.o.r.e
    than just a _w-e-t_ ~d~r~e~a~m~
    Who n e e d s a drug a.d.d.i.c.t.i.o.n
    when I've +|got|+ -x-♥you♥-x-

    i absolutly adore this line
    && the whole entire poem
    this is what i'm looking for
    thank you for entering doll
    && good luck =]

    • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I'm rather new to this style, so that makes me happy.

      Good luck with judging the contest.
1 - 16 of 16