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As Real as Anything[revised]

I
am the
glitter queen
you can't hate me
even if you try,
I'm too mysterious.
You cannot figure me out
I'll just hide behind my disguise
You won't find the lies behind my eyes,
I'm just a bomb that's laced with suicide
Even when I cry, you won't hear the sound.
I'll find my dealer and get some pills
I'm not dependent,I'm in love ,
I'm you candy herion
too much and you might die,
or get addicted-
so which one's worse?
Get the herse
I'm gone
-bye-

Author notes

wow...please feel totally free to dq this...its one of the worst pieces i've ever written.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Kahliya
    March 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow - such a beautiful way to express such dark thought dear glitter queen!
    well done


  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i am trying to give you 3 claps but it wont let me

    clap clap clap clap


  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO

    Firstly I want to thank you for entering and for not giving up!!!!!!!

    Whooo hoooo!!! Dark, deep, and straight to the point....

    I
    am the
    glitter queen

    I like the way you have started this then, you have given the dark insight the mysterious, the disguise hidden away... what a ending bang and your gone

    excellent write dark & deep
    goodluck
    Tracey


  • Hell In Harmony
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I'm just a bomb laced with suicide
    Even when I cry, you won't hear the sound.
    I'll find my dealer and get some pills


    dellicious stanza right thur.

    HOW in the WORLD

    can you say this is bbad poetry?!


    TELL me<3

    Kat

    • Lyre-Bird-
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      its a contest form poetry..... no one said it was bad poetry..... lol


  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You can't figure me out is 6 syllables needs to be 7

    I'll hide behind my disguise needs to be 8 it is 7

    You won't find the lies in my eyes, is 8 needs to be 9


    I'm just a bomb laced with suicide is 9 needs to be 10


    http://www.wordscount.info/hw/syllable.jsp

    go there its a great help
    dont give up ... it's a gr8 piece
    Tracey





  • metalmadness7666
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was a lil weird but i liked it alot
    it is a different type of poem
    well writein
    good jo

  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I'm mysterious is 5 syllables needs to be 6 plz revise and adjust again
    Tracey


  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    must be 20 lines this is 21 lines... please put revised near title when adjusted
    Tracey

1 - 9 of 9