Unnerving
More than
the clock's ticking
on this silent night
Its words...
...those cold words...
...your words
Like a recorded song
being played
over and over
Robbed my hope
of ever hearing
your heart beat
Author notes
~written on written on March 10, 2007 - 1:29 AM
~posted on my blog and DeviantArt Page
Winkling Multi-Round Contest #2
Option - "Like a recorded song"
A contest entry
- The Winklings Multi-Challenge Round #2 by Andantino.
425 points, ended March 18, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I often wish to be numb, so insensitive words can't get too me
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Hello JP, I pushed the button too quick... but here is my comment. I do love this poem. Words are coming like ticking sounds of a clock - very cold, while you are waiting for a warm heart beat. You show your emotions very well in this piece. Well done JP. I can seen that the Winklings have helped you a lot. I am really pleased about that. That was my intention by introducing you to them. I knew that you had Talent with a big T!
Through certain circumstances I haven't been around much, but I hope things have changed now, so that I will be able to write again and 'better' than I have ever done. lol. I am still in my starting phase though..., but who knows... one day... wish me luck!
Anna.
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I am so proud of you!
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This is good. Hope you're okay!
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Ahem
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Nicely done. I'm sorry you couldn't make the deadline for the random rounds, but I thought I would stop by and give you a comment!
I think you used the given line well here! I often/always wish to be numb too. -
Words thrown in anger, or without thought play on the recipient's mind indeed. Excellent show of emotions relayed in so few lines.
Your title, first thought and conclusion is perfectly executed:
"Apathy - Unnerving more than your heartbeat"
Excellent work
Thank you for joining in this second round, best wishes!
Sandi
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Uhmmm... thanks! glad you liked it. Take care Sandi! ~ R.A.
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