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Sweet Corazon

Missing image

Sweet Corazon

.

She came to me with her transparent dreams
A pregnant young girl with her life to give
Death swims before her in hazy illusion
Forced and raped, she was left
 in pain
Searching for someone to make it all stop
Wandering aimless she searches for help

.

She goes without sleep and thinks it will help
A sordid parasite that eats at her dreams
Just passing through time as it comes to a stop
Fragile heart of glass, with no future to give
The hollowed sphere on a pendulum of pain
The swinging emotion a perpetual illusion

.

Endlessly aching, consumed in illusion
Searching for drugs thinking that will help
She closes her eyes and she sees the pain
Mindless and boundless, obscure in her dreams
Look in her eyes and the desperation they give
Mindless and boundless, obscurity won’t stop

.

Yet her bright wondering gaze came to a stop
As her blind eyes scream in silent illusion
She can't understand, a cold stare to give
All empathy lying un-graced with all help
An eternal echo trapped in her dreams
As empty as the ocean when I see her pain

.

Her thought of abortion causes me pain
Pregnant and desperate she wants it to stop
All that makes her whole, is held in her dreams
All of her guilt is just an illusion
Those that she sought refused to give help
So honor and pride to her we must give

.

Together, we pray knowing God will give
I know that with love, we can heal the pain
I’m here with my heart and my hands to help
I love her so much and want her pain to stop
We must give her life and destroy her illusion
If only we could, we would sweeten her dreams

.

If only others would give, these atrocities would stop
There must be a way to kill the pain and keep the illusion
So give of yourself to help these kids and restore their dreams

.

Author notes

This is a true story, I am blessed to be able to help.

 

Sestina
The sestina is a strict ordered form of poetry, dating back to twelfth century French troubadours. It consists of six six-line (sestets) stanzas followed by a three-line envoy. Rather than use a rhyme scheme, the six ending words of the first stanza are repeated as the ending words of the other five stanzas in a set pattern. The envoy uses two of the ending words per line, again in a set pattern.

First stanza, ..1 ..2 ..3 ..4 ..5 ..6
Second stanza, ..6 ..1 ..5 .. 2 ..4 ..3
Third stanza, ..3 ..6 ..4 ..1 ..2 ..5
Fourth stanza, ..5 ..3 ..2 ..6 ..1 ..4
Fifth stanza, ..4 ..5 ..1 ..3 ..6 ..2
Sixth stanza, ..2 ..4 ..6 ..5 ..3 ..1

Concluding tercet:
middle of first line ..2, end of first line ..5
middle of second line ..4, end of second line..3
middle if third line ..6, end of third line ..1

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 43 of 43

  • Aelten
    August 29

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    Wow.... I love how within the same words you have woven different uses and ideas. This is just lovely!
    A~


  • StarEyes
    August 22

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    Ok, you make this look very easy! But I am not so sure I love this form, just has me a bit puzzled still

    This is fantastic sis!!! What a great job you did on this one! Congrats on the Silver!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • darkhawk
    June 3

    Edit | Reply

    Speechless

    This poem is amazing....I'm so speechless after reading it. Your such a wonderfully great poet. I hope to someday be as good as you.


  • just mercedes gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great example of the form; it flows and keeps coherence without the message becoming lost in verbiage. Congratulations on the well-deserved trophies.


  • Hebz
    September 15, 2007

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    Gosh, Excellent write...

    I like its form alot & I noticed what u did even be4 i read ur notes, very interesting form & I'll try it...


    About urs, it's very lovely, i like the story & U r really blessed for ur help....


    Thnx for entering & Best of Luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • Tercil gold member
    August 3, 2007

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    As I read this, I thought hey, what lovely putting together of words. Beleive me, I don't have to write much to say that this was excellent.

  • LeonXwabbist
    July 26, 2007

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    Wow

    This is a very good poem. Thank you so much for entering it in my contest and good luck!


  • Swan song gold member
    July 1, 2007
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    This is a wonderufl story and a very well written Sestina


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    June 26, 2007

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    Fantastic write, Amera! This piece really shines.
    I noticed one small problem: "Her thoughts of abortion causes me pain" s/b either thought causes or thoughts cause. Because of meter, you'd probably pefer the first solution to the second.

    Bravo!


    • Amera gold member
      June 26, 2007
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      hummm... I think you're right. I changed it thank you


  • MargaretG
    June 25, 2007

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    impressive

    First, kudos for your personal help.
    The form almost forces you to examine the subject from all angles, as each new stanza brings the words up in a different order. Your talent for expressing emotions and images brings the story to life. Thanks for this fine example of a sestina. Congratulations on your trophy, I see others agree!


  • My Darkness
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is something else.. congrats on the gold.. although i enjoyed this piece, it just didn't seem to flow for me, and the lack of punctuation made it hard to tell when to start and stop.. it actually appeared to be sentence after sentence, each line a new... anyway, thanks for entering and good luck!


  • RedAquarius
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "All empathy lying un-graced with all help
    An eternal echo trapped in her dreams
    As empty as the ocean when I see her pain"

    such hurt and disillusionment too often in our society. A fine example of a sestina (which I vow to try someday!).


  • sunny day
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!

    Amera, Encore my dear friend. I can see why this got a gold. What a true and sore subject in society you chose to use here. It happens far too often and your words just flowed into my heart leaving me feeling the pain this young girl feels. You took me into the work with your elegance and flair. A perfect sestina you created, kudos for you girlfriend. Keep that golden ink flowing. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce


  • SeraphicKisses
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!
    This is amazing.
    Good luck in the contest! This is great.

  • Swan song gold member
    May 28, 2007

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    Very wonderful. What a beautiful poem. Heart wrenching also. Once agian you have out done yourself. I am studying this form I think I'll like it.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    May 22, 2007

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    I'm speechless sis, this is a work of art filled with love and compassion. Thank you for sharing this with me. Love you always. Laura


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    April 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a good poem.it flowed very wel and was powerful and emotional as well..i enjoyed reading thius..it was well written keep writting your very talented good luck in the contest

    ~Chrissy~

  • neonfuzz
    April 24, 2007

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    Sestinas are SO HARD! Congratulations on making one that really fits together nicely- it's more than I can do.


  • silencethequestion
    April 23, 2007
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    powerful. very well written and im glad you could help. thanks for entering


  • VaioXHailey
    April 5, 2007

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    idk well i think you got the part about rape and dark and sad so i am thinking about putting u in my finals list thanx for entering


  • Muirghiel
    March 22, 2007

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    The child suffers from disillusionment and despair. But perhaps she will learn that reality does not have to be painful or frightening.

    I could see the child, her belly swollen and her eyes wide with pain. I hear her roaming the house in the dark, unable to settle down. I see her reaching out to me, needing me. The poor child.

    People don't talk about rape. Don't talk about incest. Don't talk about teenage pregnancies. They don't want to know. You knew. You wrote.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    yikes! i fear i have read this already. i just did not want you to think i was wasting your points. sorry. viyanna rosemarie


  • UnderTheRadiantSky
    March 21, 2007
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    such intense words!!! like plumelling beats to my heart


  • FlipperSwitch
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful and emotion packed poem. I can see this as falling close to the option of what is behind a closed door; so I will accept it. Thank you.


  • DK akaLunaticSerene gold member
    March 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Gloriously masterful in form and heartwrenching in content, I love the picture used, and your compassion shines from every line! (add an "f" to S6L1 first word?)I have an especial affinity with this subject, I don't think you read this one:

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/2464025

    well done Sis!

    xxoo
    dk


  • JohnnyD gold member
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/2720506

    I’m here with my heart and my hands to help
    I love her so much and want her pain to stop
    We must give her life and destroy her illusion
    I only we could, we would sweeten her dreams

  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow! very well done. i can not write this form to save my life and you have impressed me with this one. good luck in this contest you have entered. viyanna rosemarei

  • Eulb kcalB
    March 9, 2007
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    excellent!!!! you blew me away here


  • Nature Song silver member
    March 9, 2007

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    Very well done. Form and meter flow well. Sad topic, so many teens caught up in sex, prenancy and left to abandon choices of the future or to make a future to include their unborn child. Great write, goodluck in your contest. ~Sie


  • LadyLavender gold member
    March 9, 2007

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    Wow, awesome form, deep story and imagery...Amera you posess talents beyond the imagination. What i love most about you is your love for others to learn as well.
    Que Dios te bendiga!!!

    LL

  • Eusebius
    March 9, 2007

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    This is a nicely done Sestina, all things considered here....I've despaired of every being able to complete one...so this fine...bravo...bravo...bravo...


  • Fire N Ice
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Very deep subject here,
    packed with the shock of reality,
    and the form is flawless


  • Dalaney gold member
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding! I am so impressed with your poetic knowledge, style, imagination. You are spinning me
    in circles, darling. Bravo....tossing a rose to the
    fairest. Love, Lane


  • Blazing White Wolf
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    all to real poetry here, amera, it is a cycle that somewhere in the chain needs to be broken, it is a shame that people don't make the neccessary effort to look within and find the love of self only after that has transpired will one attract the love they deserve (when you don't love yourself how could you p[osssibly believe you yourself deserve to be loved, allow yourself to be loved, and love another properly) and love the way love is intended. well done withh form, contest, and displaying the emotions of the piece.

    Love and light,
    Blaze


  • Lost-Pearls
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow
    Absolutely stunning structure and wording. I am honestly in awe. This is one of the best pieces I've read around the site. Everything from content to structure is flawless. Best of luck in the contest. This deserves no less than gold.

    • Amera gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Lost Pearls

      Thank you so much. You are absolutely right; it’s hard to find people that recognize formal poetry. Thanks again.


  • Epona
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very powerful- i really like tht form and you've used to to great effect here- love the line 'kill the pain and keep the illusion' very true and powerful
    E~


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    March 9, 2007

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    This is truly a poem that awakens every sense available. We go blindly into life and neither see nor care for situations that we do not understand.
    A great piece..
    Soulful Woman


  • PerVirtuous
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful! It is so easy to stick your head in the sand and believe that nothing bad is happening. Thank you for reminding us there is more in such a well crafted poem. Three bunnies!

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