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I & why (revised)

I,
a man,
John-Peter,
the eldest of
Craighton-Badilla
y Santoscoy, wish to
present myself here, to you:
born of Basque-Spanish mother,
and of Irish Jewish father,
present myself to everybody!
I greet you with peace, love, truth, happiness
In lenses of eyes is my reflection.
I embrace you with warmth, give you courage
to always do good for others,
make your world a better place!
Don't hide your lantern,
but let it shine!
Let me help
you now,
today.
                                            We
                                          are not
                                        just the sum
                                    of sep'rate parts.
                                    We are all one-ness.
                                    There is no you and me.
                                That is all mere illusion.
                            To pierce through the curtain of lies
                          you must perceive with the clearest mind.
                              My message to you is not about me,
                            Yet this is all about you, me, they, we.
                                I am hoping that you can see now
                              that you will grasp the nothingness
                                with the inner eye of mind.
                                Hear, then, the word of truth.
                                      Seek ye the secrets,
                                      Taste the goodness
                                          of the Word,
                                            the Light,
                                              Love.


Author notes

I have attempted a double double etheree, or a quadruple etheree if you will:

to achieve more than just another "poem about me me me," I tried to express myself through my purpose. Yes, in a way it is about me, and yet it is about the best in each of us.


A contest entry

My purpose is not self-aggrandizement but to light a way

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Comments


  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    born of Basque-Spanish mother,
    and of Irish Jewish father,
    present myself to everybody!
    I greet you with peace, love, truth, happiness
    In lenses of eyes is my reflection.
    I embrace you with warmth, give you courage
    to always do good for others,
    make your world a better place!
    Don't hide your lantern,
    but let it shine!
    Let me help
    you now,
    today.

    syllables are out on most lines recheck I haven't checked the 2nd part
    http://www.wordscount.info/hw/syllable.jsp this may come in handy

    just message me when your done

    Tracey

  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    There is no you, me is 5 syllables needs to be 6

    Tracey


  • Lyre-Bird-
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    your first etheree is 19 lines needs to be 20 lines

    put revised near title when adjusted
    Tracey