Momma dear momma please open the door,
what did that man mean when he called you bag whore,
and that thing that you pulled straight from your arm,
I learned in school that it could do much harm,
what are you doing I cant hear a sound,
was that your body I just heard hit the ground,
momma please momma just hold me real close,
and tell me how much that you love me the most,
momma dear momma I cant hear you breathe,
and you made me a promise that you would never leave,
now we are separated by more than this door,
you cant read me stories or sing me to sleep anymore,
momma tell me your alright wipe away my lost tears,
who's going to know all my secrets, dreams and my fears,
momma please momma just let me come in,
and I promise never to let you put that in your arm ever again.
Author notes
badddgirl
In a list
A contest entry
- Heart Wrenching by ChunkyC.
950 points, ended December 23, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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wow this is a sad poem it really touched me you have some amazing talent
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Wow, this is unbelievable sad. I'm not a huge fan on rhyme, but this was so beautifully sad and the story was so amazing, I was able to see past it. This poem made my heart wrench, definately. Great job, and welcome to the finalist <3
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THis was such a sad story, and I can tell it's personal (or else you're really creative, lol.) It had a desparate feel to it, and because it's from the eyes of the woman's child it added so much pain in the child's words. The only thing I didn't like, was that the lines seemed to drag on a long time while I was reading it. I don't know, that's just what I felt.
Thank you for entering, and good luck
Jeanette*~ -
You have such a telent with words, all of your poems must really touch everyone they reach, bc they have touched me, so deeply. Amazing talent. Very sad write.
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you have just made me cry and i have only been up for fifteen minutes. these writes really sadden me because this is what so many children see. thank you for sending me this link. you really wrote with the voice of a child. viyanna rosemarie
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This, along with most of your work, is very touching and once again I'm tearing up [[grrrr] This is so sad and full of emotion. This is a flawless piece of art.
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That is soooooo very very sad. It left me feeling like I needed to cry, and that doesn't happen to just any poem. Very nice work! Bravo to you!
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ahhhhhh! great!!! it's so saddd
I loved it! kudos
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This is such a sad piece, it was very well written though. It was full of such imagery as well. I also think the picture that you chose for this went perfect with your piece. I am definately going to be considering this poem. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
wow~ that poem just punches you in the gut~ I guess in a good way~ cause you make it so REAL~~~ This is fabulously done! and my favorite out of all I read~ simply cause it's so POWERFUL! Nice job~ good luck in the contest!
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This is awesome and sad of course but your really good! i almost cried
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this is so sad.. so full of loneliness and fear of a child.. It is something that alot of parents should read, so they can understand what they are doing to these innocent children who are so effected by their parents actions.. the flow, rhythm and rhyme are very good through the entire poem.. this is so full of emotions and is very sad.. well doen!!
thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
peace and light always.. -
Sad
This poem was very sad. I liked it but there were a few points where the flow was a little rough. Overall it was good though. Thank you for your entry into my contest and good luck. -
YOU KILL ME
You are an xcellent writer. I say you need to be a reporter. You do such good work putting all this stuff out there. It kills me to read your writes, but I do. I would kill some sonofabitch if I ever saw anything out of the ordinary. Children are very honest. There is too many people out there wanting to adopt, but you can't trust them maybe either. You rock.
POETDONTKNOWIT -
Nice
This is a good poem. It has a strong feeling and it puts a picture in your head. -
finalists for u!!
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Awwwwww this is soo sad...I almose cried wow I can relate to this its really hard. keep writing out how you feel it help really well you are very talented andkeep on writing...good luck in this contest
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from the Jazman
With this one I feel truth in what you feel. The jazman is pleased.
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the rhyme in the thirteenth and fourteenth lines in this poem are a little forced, but other than that, great work on this poem...
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Loved it, the grammar took me for a spin ( with the lack of question marks) but over all i liked it.
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this was a great write and i can totally relate to your poem..the feeling you wrote about were very true and emotional..you are a very talented writter keep writting and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
oh my god, what a touching an emotional write!
I dont usually like repetitve poems but in this one, it really adds to the impact of a little child crying out. I couldnt believe how realistic this really sounded. sucha sad write, but beautifully written at the same time.
great write and thanks for entering,goodluck -
Wow
I wish I wrote this.Not from experience though -
i love reading your poem and very interested to reading more of your poems keep up the good work so if you wanna to chat with me look for me tina12345 hope to hear from you soon.
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your poem is really good
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as i read that i felt as if i were there just listening to the little girl not saying a single word...
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awsome.very moving. touching. full of emotion. congrats on write.
always keep on smiling...aleXOX -
great
very moving -
I really liked your poem. Almost had me crying. I think that the best type of poets put emotion into their poem instead of just doing it because they want something to write. When you have a feeling go with it, experiences sure why not?
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Wow. This made me really, really sad. I can feel like all the pain burn inside me. Great poem. Great emotions.
-Ashley -
It hurts... oh yeah I know that deep dark feelings but I have never gone through something like this... It's so very sad you can't help but pity this child... I hope you didn't go through anything like this... If you did I hope things are better now and your mother is ok.
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momma please momma just let me come in,
and I promise never to let you put that in your arm ever again.
All I can say here is that what you did here is that one can not think of it..you are an eye opener to most of the hearts at on AP..it is just more than touching and made every one to think..great immagery and indeed a great work is here..
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Deep
Probably my favorite poem by far!! This poem has pierced my soul more than any other poem I ever read. It really got to me, and made me think of my own relationship with my mother.
I have to say, this is very touching, and very emotional. I have to say, great job! This was very well written, and very realistic if I do say so myself. =] Keep writing, i love it!
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Very touching, you can really feel the innocence of childhood in this. The rhyming and meter was a little off in some places, but that also enhances the childness of it. Very nice write.
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So sad! Great write, though. It's easy to slip into believing that you're writing down words spoken by a child, which, I suppose, is the effect you were going for. Again, great piece, and good luck!
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This is very heart-rending...it is so very sad and touching. Really moves a heart! Well done, although sad. Best of luck! ~Elizabeth
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amazing and heart felt poem great job.
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mom that was really good.... so much emotion!
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brilliant
this is a really heartfelt poem, is it true, did this happen.
im sorry if it did, i know it happens. the emotion in this poem is really good. how old are you?, its really nice, it made me feel like crying
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Heart -Wrenching
This is one of those poems that really makes you choke back the tears.Its beautiful. -
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Thank you, its been repeating inside my head for a week now so I figured I better write it down.
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hello.im off to bed,but
I had to tell you i am glad you took the time to write it out and put it on here so we can all see this amazing poem
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