Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

hurt

the pain was unbearable
fingers poking, stomache churning,

fat bulging, skin clinging,

bones protruding, cheekbones hollowing

the cycle continuing

you stopped it

with one smile

one flash of hope amongst sneers of inadequacy

a lightbulb among glinting shards of broken glass

a sign of things which would come to pass

 

i didnt stop

you stopped me

i didnt succeed

you were the success

i didnt thank you

i wish i had

but wishing wont change it

cant help it

cant help that your gone

and all thats left

is a mass of bones

lost without you

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • xtragicanax
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    thanx for writing such a hard/soft poem i don't know if maybe that is what you are going through.but it is what i am.if you want to talk email me,please.
    keep writing,it is beautiful ^


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    April 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your silver trophy. You deserved it!
    This is a powerful poem.


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The emotion and sincerity of the write is apparant. Good flow to your words that paint a picture of gratitude to those who reach out when we need them.

    Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.


  • Sharcu silver member
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very emotional, powerful entry into our contest. Simple, but nice description at some points. Thanks for taking the time to enter and I hope you're enjoying the site
    --Tim


  • wishintreeUK
    March 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering.

    How good it makes the heart feel when someone goes the extra mile for us... we would indeed be lost if we had to deal with life's problems alone, the Red Cross have been known to go the extra mile in times of need.

    Well done and thank you for entering the contest, I do encourage you to keep up with your writing

    ~Katie~


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    March 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering

    A cycle to many young and old people fall into. Wanting the perfect body and in the end destroying ourselves to reach this goal. Sometimes it takes only the kind words of another to help us break out of this vicious cycle.

    A good poem approaching this topic from a veiw point I have not yet seen which makes for a refreshing change

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • FifthDove
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    Wishing and hoping, this poem sounds like a few people I personally know, very relatable and interesting. I am glad someone was there for you Thank you very much for taking the time to write for and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to AllpoetryDove


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for your entry

    We are seeing here in these entries the power people have to give hope and save people. When we care. I know sometimes we don't think to thank the people who have helped us and then they are gone and we regret not letting them know how we appreciated them. I think they know though it does help to hear you say it. Maybe someday you will get your chance again to say Thank you.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry. I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for your entry

    This is such a sad poem. So often we realise what we had when it's too late and our inspiration gone. Wishing won't changes things, you are right there,but remember all the love you were given now and make sure it wasn't given in vain. It's not too late to use what you now have to help yourself and others.
    Welcome to the site
    Gaylene

1 - 9 of 9