Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Crazy (until I find a better title)

One crazy night,
laughter made me fly,
over the edge of the light,
into the fear's black sky,
I fell into beauty's arms.

I met the ghost of Elvis,
he said rich men ain't free
and  don't race down this
highway as happy as we,
into a world of cartoons.

I threw flags and books away,
in the bubbles of light,
of an endless day,
but i woke up at night,
and I was so alone.

So here is my hand,
and if you hold on tight,
then from sexy to end,
I'll take you for a ride,
and pray we'll never wake up.

Author notes

by bobby jean

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • burdened
    April 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A great piece, interesting to read, and the thoughts are amazing. Vivid imagery, and I could definately see someone falling from the sky. truly imaginative. Thanks for entering. Take care and keep penning. XxX


  • geron
    March 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    nice

    the last part is very beautiful. u can feel the sadness inside. Thank you for sharing


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    March 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So sad I love the write but it is so so sad a write. I could see the imagery and feel the emotion. Thank you for sharing this with us


  • esroddo silver member
    March 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding write

    You left me speechless. Your word flowed so amazing. as you told a outstanding tale. I love dreams. ( Dreaming Sets You Free)To be and to what ever you want. (Lisa)
    " met the ghost of Elvis,
    he said rich men ain't free
    and don't race down this
    highway as happy as we,
    into a world of cartoons."


  • CherylAnn
    March 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Wow What a dream.Too dream such things would be awesome.Your description has painted an amazing picture for my minds eye to see.The visual effect of your write has left me just speechless.Great job penning this write.
    Blessings to you
    ~Cheryl~


  • MotorcycleFreak silver member
    March 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    I love the word choices in this one. It sets the emotional tone and rhythm perfectly. Great imagery you have painted also. The type that changes depending upon the reader's personal experience. Great Write! ~Peace~Gary


  • The Essential Ratch
    March 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fun, Dreamriffic

    Thats an awesome poem it reminds me of my random thoughts and dreams jumbled up together in a confusing enjoyable bus ride ^.^


  • Sas3116
    March 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Unique

    Your poem is really good and is written in a very unique method. Hope to read more, keep up the gr8 work xxx

  • piccola silver member
    March 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes crazy is nice...we're all crazy in our own unique way, with or without meeting Elvis. I think you misspelled tight though..


  • dustookie2
    March 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like your crazy we all need some crazy time in our lives if only to let the tension of our lives out to play without thought of what will the neighours think... You directed the play and i followed with eae into your twisted mind.Great imagery to fuel the ride of the journey as you capture the emotion of the mood brilliantly Thank you for the ride.


  • Meet Virginia
    March 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love this, really.

    This is a very odd comparison, but it makes me think of the rainbows you see in oil reflections in parking lots. It's got a shiny, gritty quality to it. An excellent write- VERY impressive!

1 - 11 of 11