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You had no clue, until i saved your life

I was just another girl in the hall
We all knew your angelic face
The way your lips formed the perfect words
And never frowned
You had no clue that I admired you

I was just another girl who watched you leave the school
We all knew that you turned left
The way you went the opposite way of your friends
And never followed them
You had no clue that I crept behind you

I was just another person walking by your house
We all knew your condo was light blue
And your dad was by the door
You had no clue that I followed through the door after the two of you went in

I was the only one watching as your dad brought his fist down
I didn’t know anything about this
And how to stop it
You had no clue that I could save them

I was the only wall between you and your father
I knew that his fists moved quickly
And mine landed harder
You saw me now

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    April 4, 2007

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    I like the way that we don't exactly get the entire picture until the very end. Nice strong ending too. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest.


  • Sharcu silver member
    April 3, 2007

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    The emotions seem very genuine and it seems like you are retelling a personal experience. Always the best kind of poetry. Thanks for entering
    --Tim


  • wishintreeUK
    March 27, 2007
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    Thank you for entering.

    A sad poem, yet a subject matter that has been handled with sensitivity. Child abuse is a wicked and terrible thing, hopefully there will come a time when this along with all the other horrible things in the world will be no more.

    Thank you for your entry, I do encourage you to keep up with your writing

    ~Katie~


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    March 13, 2007
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    Thanks for entering

    A deep and sad poem of abuse and how someone eventually was saved from this pit. I like the way you have approached the subject without being too obvious but still getting the point across with your final stanza.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    March 9, 2007
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    Thanks for your entry

    Yes this poem is so very sad and I a;lways get so angry when I read and hear of abuse of children, who are unable to defend themselves.
    Your poem shows love and care for those who are unable to fight for themselves.
    Welcome to the site
    Gaylene


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    March 9, 2007

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    Thanks for your entry

    Abuse of a child is such a horrible thing. One of the most vile things a person can do is to harm his or her own child. Thank you for writing this and showing that there are those out there who still help when it is the right thing to do.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry. I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • FifthDove
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    Abuse is never alright, this poem has got me all riled up now, and I really hope this is not a true story but if it is, I send you the best. The poem kept me interested all the way through. The last stanza first line I think there is a typo “you and you father” maybe “your father”. Nice work! Thank you very much for taking the time to write for and enter our contest.
    Best wishes and welcome to AllpoetryDove

1 - 7 of 7