I wish beyond...these things, that:
I were deaf
That I might value your voice more melodiously.
Blind, that I might
Fell your smile shine more radiantly.
Numb, that I might
Feel you bare on me more intimately.
No tongue, that I might
Savor your sweet name more richly.
No nose, that I might
Relish you’re your musk more sumptuously.
No psyche, that I might
Contemplate your love more directly.
No stomach, that I might
Hunger your relaxed repose more gracefully
NO emotion, that I might
Quit wishing.
I wish I were
A Flame Looking For a Moth
I wish for a profound alteration in
Your reaction to life
As for me
If only I could.
I wish I were
Your cloud
If I could change
I could.
Author notes
No matter how I change, I am still me, I guess.
Written June 29th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- If I could change one thing about my life by rufina caraid.
300 points, ended June 30, 2003, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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oh wow... this is intense. really really good! how on earth did u change the text color throughout??? God, i just love the whole thing. great write!
Trin -
Very good
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I really enjoyed that poem. thanks for sharing.
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Sometimes I wish I was another person other than me
What a wonderful poem this was hun
I just love the pic and isn't Jim Warren super?
Good luck in the contest
To me this is a winner and a keeper
Thanks for all the comments on my poems as well
Hope this finds you and yours well
Luv ya
Susan
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This was very pretty. I know I know that's a girly term, but this was so pretty. Lovely words that touched my heart. Very sweet! I loved the picture, and the colors...very nice experience!!!!
Laurenna
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This was great in showing how easily we take things for granted. It's as simple really as always remembering to say good night or kiss goodbye- the simple things that we wish to be able to do again if the chance is taken away from us (for whatever reason).
I liked this very much. The form used was perfect for this also. I don't really see any other way you could have done this.
Only thing I left confused on- is the "wood" as the last word intentional, or should it have been "would?" - without the question mark of course.
-- making a note for myself to come back later and read again. I know well that I have another favor to return. Thanks so much for your visits to my stuff earlier. It's greatly appreciated. Especially since you dug into one of the oldest items. Thanks!! -
wonderful - really shows how we can take what we have for granted.. but if we lost them, what we had would seem all the more precious.
beautiful
come see me sometime
~Scarlet
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I wish I were
A Flame Looking For a Moth
My that was a beautiful spin on your poem of wishes...I always seem to be a moth drawn to a flame...but to be the flame seeking the moth...well that is a wonderful thought a wonderful wish...I will have to keep that thought with me now
It seems we can only be who we are and that is the moral I took from your poem here...we wish and it does get tiring doesn't??
Beautiful flow throughout this poem this was just very deep and mysterious
Wonderful work
~~Dawn
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I agree with you, often I wish I was more than just Me. But I think you are exceptionally wonderful just the way you are. This was a beautiful written piece, and the picture just added to it's beauty. Keep up the wonderful writing.
Carrie -
sometimes i wish i could be anything other than myself, it seems like the world thinks its fun to rain all sorts of abuse on me, my stupidity that allows it to continue. beautiful poem..as usual
Nyx... -
Thank you so much for entering this lovely, lovely poem.
We all have the power to change ourselves but as Jen said we are basically still the same person, however we still have the choice and the ability to do so.
Your poem is so lovely.The picture suits it well.
~Von~ -
very good poem i loved it kept me with it the whole poem awsome good luck on the contest
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Enigma my friend this is precious! I love that picture as well.
The lovers in the wave is awesome. I have seen the cloud portion somewhere before. This poem is on the border of sensual. Subtlely so.
Red -
you cant really change who you are completely.
I think people can change for the better.....but they are still themselves in the foundation of it all
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