shadow
along the wall
lurking behind the door,
a quick glance over my shoulder
and the mysterious miasma melts
between the graffiti traces
that burned away last year
among the fire’s
shadow
the spark
of fear’s embers,
searing slithers of flame
that consumed the ancient structure
with a flaring monstrous mouthful of heat,
cold shades shook in recognition
of departing defeat,
past love died with
the spark
the ghost
of the manor
built by the newlyweds
in celebration of their bliss,
forgotten like their vows as they parted,
with their obliterated oaths
blown on the ashen breeze,
dead love released
the ghost
Author notes
Triple Rictameters
In a list
A contest entry
- RICTAMETERS!!!!!!!! by sunny day.
1750 points, ended March 20, 2007, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A lot of work went into this beautiful triple rictameter and you are a very worthy winner. Congrats on the silver. xx
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I knew it!
When I reviewed this earlier,
I knew it was going to place...
...well done my Friend and congrats
on the Silver!!
Well deserved for sure...
Bear ~
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Well Done on your Triple Rictameter. Imagery, form and theme flow so well together. Very nice.
Dennis
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Whoa ~
I love it when a Poet can grab me and draw me into their work ~
....and to do it with a Triple Rictameter is incredible ~
The storyline is most uncommon and that is refreshing ~
The flow was smooth and the form is almost flawless ~
I applaud you for using this style to bring forth such a wonderful
piece of Art for us to be inspired.....as I believe Form should
not limit your abilty to tell a story thouroughly....
and you have done that with this write ~
Well done, and the best of luck,
Bear ~
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Love this form - you have done a great job in writing these three rictameters. Liked the alliteration you included in these lines.
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So sad, but so packed with emotion that you can feel the hurt and pain. You have captured the breakup of a marriage well and used it to good advantage. Well done. Val
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A very sorrowful write on the death of love. Lovely ricameter, with lovely word choice...making it read so well and so strong. You can feel the time unfold for love had and love lost. Wonderful flow through out.
Best to you in the contest!
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An eerie piece. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Excellent word choice. Good alliteration and assonance. An excellent story poem and much enjoyed read.
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Spooky...but so compelling. Excellent triple ric with wonderful vocabulary to express your story. Imagery rich and very emotive. The flow was perfect from line to line. Amazing work!
~Lori
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This is a truly wonderful triple rictameter that you have chosen to give us in the contest. Amazing imagery created by your elegant verbiage. Excellent work fellow poet. Thank you for entering and best wishes in the contest. Love and God bless, Joyce
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This was a haunting journey. Each of the three stanzas could stand on its own, but together is a memorable work. Thank you for entering this contest.
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Boo!
Really awsome job. Told quite a story. Nice with the alliterstion. Never over did it and the three really come together nicely. Good Luck.
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Ah HA!
OH I liked this a great deal. What a delight to read and enjoy. Best of luck in this contest, though, I doubt you will need it. Very very good. ~Pamela WOW!
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Cool, this is the best poem of its type I've ever read.
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