thoughts of you that make my heart dance with fever
also thoughts of you as a true believer
souls afire with thirst of the self demanding
my understanding
eyes aflame with passion's unbridled feeling
heart invoked to open, its love revealing
heart to hearts imaginings are expanding
my understanding
true to you and you will be true to passion
eyes can see souls loving in every fashion
heart is called to obey the soul's commanding
my understanding
Author notes
This is a prewrite. It ises the traditional sapphic form, and I added a rhyme scheme just because.
In a list
A contest entry
- SAPPHIRES - Loose Sapphic and classical Sapphic verse by Mairi bheag.
450 points, ended August 9, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Unusual to see a sapphic with a refrain, I have written them that way in the style I prefer ( 4 4 4 2 feet ) Because I like refrains. AABB works well two, which surprises me because when I have used it it sounds awkward with the final line.
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You stepped away from the form by this experiment with a rhyming scheme and a two-word refrain, and in the process created something utterly brilliant! The plethora of good poetry is going to make my task very hard.
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Flows like lava
I like the repetition of the last line each stanza and I liked th power, almost intimidating. I won't get into the technicla side as this is my first attempt at one of these things.
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Oh, I like this. The repetition of the end lines in each stanza is very effective. All the best in the comp!
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A wonderful understing this is......
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i'm not going to attempt to name the style here. however, i did enjoy this. mainly for the flow. the words roll so deliciously off the tongue. read this aloud. really dig this! i will say it has both style and form- just don't ask which ones!
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The style here is sapphic verse, named after Sappho, the Greek Lesbian poetess. Knowing that, it may make the piece have a different meaning to you.
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Nice Try! But, no. -
Oh my! Hot! Filled with such passion I love it.
That style isn’t listed on my page You asked me privately if I could identify the style.
Well, I’ll pay 50 points to the first person who does it here in your comments.
Love,
Amera
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This fits...
Kyrielle
A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines), and each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum. Some popular rhyming schemes for a Kyrielle are:
aabB, ccbB, ddbB, with B being the repeated line, or abaB, cbcB, dbdB.
Mixing up the rhyme scheme is possible for an unusual pattern of: axaZ, bxbZ, czcZ, dxdZ, etc. with Z being the repeated line. The rhyme pattern is completely up to the poet.
http://www.poeticnites.com/library/top.html -
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Nice Try
Kyrielle - consists of eight syllables per line. These have eleven. That was Amera's first guess as well. Try again.
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