They cannot remember the stars
while they can wear stars on their knuckles
Turning out the lights
will only encourage
pedophiles and bogeymen.
They cannot recall the moon
For the night sky is orange
With the glare of electric safety
"Trees are for dogs
And grass is for football
And the irritating earth
Does conform to right angles"
I remember crickets,
the meticulous uncertainty
of crossing barbwire fences,
and red creek mud between my toes
Concrete gilded in steel
Steel gilded in chrome
while invisible stars languish overhead
A vetvet cage a cage remains and
Bahaia in a crack
does not an Eden make
Author notes
I walked out into the parking lot by my dorm today and looking up I could not see the stars because of the streetlights. I haven't seen them in months and I miss them. My heart will always lie in the East Texas boonies I'm afraid.
The whole gilded bit references the so called Gilded Age nicknamed by Mark Twain. I don't think it ever really ended.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
this is awesome. i am lucky i guess i can sit outside and see the stars of a night time.. well done on bringing your visuals to us in this write
cheers
Jen -
A very strong write with a fairly decent flow. Without the notes, I feel it gets a little lost. Would love to see a little of that info expanded on in the write itself, but that's jes my opinion. Aside from that a very powerful write. I, too, miss the stars at night when lights and pollution cloud them from us. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
-
Yes, city has little going for it thats for sure. It hides what the essense of life is. I thought this could have been stronger in its delivery of loniliness in missing the country and more angst with how the city keeps you cooped in. Nice write.
~*Starr*~ xxx -
I really like this piece. Just the whole atmosphere of it was so real and clear. Nothing left here, but feeling.
Very nicely written,
Keep it up...
-
MASTERFULLY WRITTEN!!!
I am from East Texas as well, You have done a SPECTACULAR!!
job on this piece of writting. you are so very talented in making
the reader feel as though they are right there in the moment with
you!! I love every single line in this but my favorites are: While they
can wear stars on their knuckles, SPECTACULAR line!! They cannot
recall the moon. WOW and double WOW!! I can't wait to read more
of your work! well done my dear poet!! Thank You!!
-
-
I'm glad you like it. I've had it with cities. Once I'm done with school, it's back to the country for me.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
