So ya.. my besti is finally happy.....seriously i havent seen her smile like she does in a long time and now i understand how she felt when i was....
Everything is going good for her and im so glad that finally something is goin right for her... but im jealous....dont get me wrong i still love her...she is all i have but...i miss being that happy....i once was that happy....but ever scence this last weekend.. its like someone snatch my happyness and crushed it...
Everyone keeps asken me wats wrong....and i SWEAR i thought i was hiding it good....but nope...everyone knows that something is wrong...and the sad part is.. i cant even tell you ...idk...that talk that me and my mom had this last weekend really got to me...ive realized that no matter what i do...it will be a loseing situation....it hurts when you tell your mom the way you feel about a guy and she tells you that no matter what he will not be welcomed in her house and that she is going to fight it everyday....
I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND IT!!!
he never did a fucken thing to her...she says its cuz she is affraid that he is going to bring me down with him...that i have plans for my future that he will crush them and FUCK! its not like that...i dont let know one get in the way of my dreams....if you havent notice.. ive been fighting for a yr for a dream to be with him...im going to go to college im going to make something of myself...but she doesnt think ill be able to do that with him by my side...ill be onest... when i turn 18 and if he is still unemployed and all that shit....then i wont get back with him...but he knows that....
Everyone changes and my mom doesnt believe that... she doesnt give people the benefit of the doudt...
I fucken love him...why cant people comprehend that...and stop judging...
She confuses me sooooo much... i know that she has some some horrible relationships and been screwed over..but why cant she let me live my life.. make my own mistakes...if it is one...youll never no if you dont try
"risk everything regret nothing"
All i want is to be happy but she took that from me once again....i miss walken around with a smile on my face... i miss not being able to waite for the next day to come....and most of all i miss the modivation i once had....
if i could i would change how i feel.. but ive tried....and im still tryen ....i hurt my best friend cuz i tried to push her away....but she never left .. she is still there... waiting for me to talk....im tryen not to push her away but i cant help it.. i cant help the way i feel....why does this shit have to be so god damn complicated...its never gonna be easy...its gonna be an on going battle...
i use to be the one that saw my future clearly....now... i dont... once again....its a big blur....
i wish my besti the best of luck i hope everything works out with her and this guy....im glad that her parents understand....i only wish mine would...
but watever its life....and im done cryen over it....it hasnt made anything better...i just wish i knew how wat to do.....
i love him..... get the fuck over it and except....unless you have a better reason on why you dont like him....
O WAITE and get this....
i can date older guys as long as its not him my mom said.....STUPID! it doesnt make scence he didnt do nothen to her
im done venting now....thanks for your time...
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