Whisper
Memories made
With softly spoken words
Playing a tune deep in my heart
Meaning so much more then any shout could
Telling me simply, "I love you"
I'm your one and only
When you gently
Whisper
A contest entry
- RICTAMETERS!!!!!!!! by sunny day.
1750 points, ended March 20, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A wonderful rictameter that you have penned for the contest. Your soft whisper speaks loudly of love. You just need to edit line 6, it has 9 syllables. Thank you for entering and best wishes in the contest.
Joyce
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thank you very much for catching my mistake I've fixed it now
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*sigh*
This is so sweet, what a wondeful rictameter you have composed! -
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Thank you and I hopes thats a good sigh
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Beautiful
Absolutely beautiful. It never amazes me how beautiful your words are when you write about something that most would think couldn't be beautiful. You've done an awesome job. Kassie
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Thank you I do believe a whisper is a very powerful little thing it can mean so much more then any shout ever could
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Wow...Beautifully written with all the right emotions. I can't pick a favorite line..I would have to say that "playing a tune deep in my heart" is the one that sticks out the most. There is no better music than the music of your heart.Oh and the part about I love you being whispered.Whispering things really does have more affect than shouting it Good luck!!!!
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I'm glad you enjopyed this I have a feeling you know where the inspiration came from
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Soft and sweet, yet the underling passion peeks through. I liked it.
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This was a gentle and touching poem. The soft murmurings of a lover provide the most beautiful music in the world. Thank you for entering this contest.
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Yes they do soft little touches and words will mean more then anything loud and hard
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starts a whistlin...
Marc3012 (signed up for that graduating class?),
"Whisper (Rictameter)" brings up the rictus in subject and shape, talking about how we talk effectively for ones in a household, I detected.
The second line emphasizes what we do with with points made from the titled speech, if it's liked on a sensual layer such that we deliberately put it to mind.
The wide open verse quiets notions of what gets attention :
"Meaning so much more then any shout could"
even indicating that wouldn't echo as a hum like coming off of previous comparisons, but maybe a scar since we can swat swat swat in so many ways to make conformity sometimes. Whereas this is headed to already pleased, it seems.
And then the intimacy that produces more when it's not just message "Telling me so simply "I love you"" which can cause opening of arms to continue the meaning, you next expressed of the closeness that is felt as actual.
I enjoyed this, just wondering if you need a comma in L6 before the quote being stated.
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Short but sweet says it all nice work
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Gentle Whispers
you're soft spoken words are playing a soft tune in you're heart meaning more than a shout and telling you're feelings of the one that you love explaining you're gentle whispers
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