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White Clouded(Rictameter)

White clouds
Floating up high
In the azure blue sky
Stirring my imagination
With forever changing sizes and shapes
There's an angel with widespread wings
French poodle, other things
Mesmerized by
White clouds.

Author notes

Never tire of watching the almost always beautiful Florida clouds.
Written June 28th, 2003

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • al dente
    October 15, 2008
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    I counted the syllables and everything seems right but the shape is off so you might want to change words and find some that are shorter or longer so that the rict takes on it's perfect diamond shape. I love the thought though.


  • james119
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it's great what we can see when we take the time

    Thanks for entering

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    August 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I do love the clouds, one of my favourite things, you have written this beautifully, well done on such a charming piece

    Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the best of luck

    Karen


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful write, I love to point clouds out to my kids and see their expressions at the pictures in the sky. This poem made me feel like I was 10 laying in the grass. Best of luck in the contest.


    whisper


  • Empathy-eyes
    June 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifully formed poem, conveying so many of the good things we take advantage of daily. Good luck to you


  • spot the pink
    June 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is a really nice poem, pretty images.
    thanks for entering, good luck!!


  • grannyeri gold member
    November 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Such a wonderfully shaped verse that says so much in such few lines, Liked this alot.


  • natari
    October 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This has a very soothing quality to it.I love to watch the clouds.They really do have a dreamlike quality.Thank you for entering and good luck ~Natari

  • counterclockwise
    September 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I love to watch the clouds too. It seems like I never have time to do that anymore, but thank you for allowing me to see through your eyes for a moment.


  • catz Moderators member
    September 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A very nice write, rich with vivid imagery You've expressed so much in this lovely rictameter, good job
    Good luck in the contest
    Dee


  • DrowningInSolitude
    September 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful write, I loved it good luck in my contest !!!

    Britt

  • Raist
    July 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, I haven't stared up at the clouds for such a long time and this poem has reminded me of that. One thing though shouldn't the line "french poodle" be either "a french poodle" or "french poodles" I prefer the first of the two suggextions I have made as it keeps the flow and improves the grammar.


  • Shahrazad
    June 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Such a simple topic, but one that stretched the imagination so wonderfully! This was very flowing- just like clouds going across the sky. Excellent poem! I thoroughly enjoyed it and I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
    Edited on Jun 28, 11:53 because ''.


  • Mzdimpl3zifyanasty
    June 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    right too short for me to understand hehe


  • LyricLover
    June 18, 2004
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    Vivid and Real Feeling

    I chose to read this poem because the title gave me an image of white clouds across a blue sky. I am so glad I followed my thoughts. Terrific Write! I am going to share this with my 11 year old son since he is always seeing painted cloud pictures in the sky and "White Clouded" does just that.

  • RadCannon
    June 17, 2004
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    White clouds upon the horizon can take on any shape or form to conform to the shape reflected upon our minds image. Revealing in return the nature of thyself up high in the sky upon our feild of dreams. Great write Take care and God bless. Sorry i just started writing couldnt stop.


  • May 31, 2004
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    I could sit and stare up at the clouds all day, making picutures from them, making them into anything. This was a wonderful write, take care. Lissa


  • May 28, 2004
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    Not only is the flow so smooth, I think you can look beyond it being a Rictameter to a form of shape poetry. One can see a vivid outline of the cloud in these verses. Very well crafted.
    Best,
    Saurabh.

  • Simple-Minded
    May 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I hadn't heard of a rictameter before now, but it seems to be a great form. I was horrified by your rhyming "sky" with "high", but the comparison with poodles was interesting. I quite liked this!


  • angelofcleansheets
    May 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    That was awesome. Great description. I liked the part where you described the cloud as a poodle... interesting. It really does make we wanna go outside and lay down and stare at the clouds... just stare at the sky... that sounds so relaxing right now... ahsh, now you've got me wanting to just run outside. Good job; I really liked this.


  • poetryality silver member
    May 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I love Rictameters and this one floats high in my book. Excellent job here my friend. Good luck with the contest. You are so good with the differnt forms and styles of writing.

    Much Love,
    Renee
    Edited on May 26, 1:29 because ' '.


  • Gelu unus gold member
    June 29, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    i know what ya mean the clouds can be really fun to watch and you would be suprised at what you can see in them great write

    Anubis

1 - 22 of 22