you lived with me and my family for quite sometime at night your anger would rise with anyone provoking it beating on me till I bled then when I had no strength in me your raped me and left a kid in your defense he saw what you did to me and he to wanted to die and now your left to say isen't that sweat he grow up like you now there to bastards here to die. both of us your only god forsaken life you got still holding on to our son like he is something to sell as you did with me. he didm't need to see this he didn't have to hear this and he didn't have to take your crap you want someone to kill find me not him. as they laid me down in my grave they thought i was dead to me you said "your a bitch and you'll always be were glad your gone now you can forget me" to your surprise i was not dead just tired tired of being beat on tired of me and our son wanting to kill ourselves i to have words to you two "i am a bitch when i choose to be and i now nor will i ever forget what you done to me for you are an asshole and you'll always will be now give me our son he does not want you" the thing you have left to say is "no, bitch you don't deserve him you where weak and foolish how can you possibly deserve him he belongs dead and so do you for i will make it happend just wait and see.
A contest entry
- For All Rape Survivors by ElisaRose.
600 points, ended March 17, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If you have talent check this out! 48 Hour Contest! by Heavens Child.
700 points, ended March 23, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
315 points, ended April 2, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagination by burdened.
600 points, ended April 30, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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liked it alottt
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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A very powerful and moving piece. It is horrible that you have had to go through this, and I am sorry, I only hope that by writing, you have some sort of release, and can move on. Thanks for sharing this, and take care XxX
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this was sad it made me cry tomas really needs some help and your son belongs with you just me he does you do deserve him and dont let tomas or anyone else tell you different thanks for sharing and god bless love your sister ashley
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...all i can think of is...ouch...
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this makes me cry...for this child turned women turned mother. so much sadness. so much stark emotion. the imagery is strong and the message is powerful. great job on this. keep writing! God bless you always
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First of all, this is an extremely powerful write you have done here. As rape survivor, this really hit home for me. The rawness of the emotions gives out the sense of brutality that comes along with being abused. The imagery is strong and the message you're sending is so powerful, that even people who have not experienced rape can get a sense of what it might have been like.
From a poetic stance, I found it somewhat difficult to read, because it's all put together like it's one big sentance. Some sentances are separated, some are not, and there are alot of grammarical errors.
Normally, I wouldn't bother making a critique but because I feel this is such an important and powerful message to send out, and as a fellow survivor I just wanted to let you know what my view is. With a bit of cleaning up this is has the potential to be absolutely phenomenal. -
great poem,i can almost feel wat your going through
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Very good write
The writer of this piece has placed an imprint of her soul onto this writing. The reader can feel and smell the hurt, pain, anguish, hatred, fear, loneness, confusion, loss-and despair the droplets of moisture as this write permeates a mixture of foul smelling regurgitated negative feeling that needed to come out or if not released would have destroyed the writers. Deep write with strong message, I can not tell exactly what type of write it is, but the message itself is shiveringly good. I have a couple of misspelled words you might want to take a look at: Line 4 Isn't line 6 didn't ,,, I really stopped checking after this. The poem was toooooo interesting to think about anything else. You might want run it through spell check
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Very intense! The content is so hurting, it is good that you get the release of letting it out. This is a total tragedy and hope you never have to live it again!
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I know these feelings only to well. (You might want to check spelling before this contest is over.) You did a great job telling the man that did this to you how you feel. I hope that you are able to move on and find the true love and happiness that you deserve. You are worth soooo very much more than that!! I too am a survivor of rape, I still have days when it is hard to deal with, but I stop and pray, and know that I will make it through. And you will too! The best advice I can give you, is keep letting your feelings out, and each time you do, then it will become easier. Keep your chin up honey. And know that I am here if you want to talk.z
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The man who did this to you is one horrible man I hope to never meet. I admire your courage to speak out, I love how you addressed this poem to him. You are a very strong woman to stand up and fight back. You are worthy of love and happiness, never let anyone steal that from you. Be proud of who you are and be proud of this poem because you have given me strength through your words.
Be strong and smile for your strength is inspirational.
Elisa
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