i.
at two in the morning
limbs were all over
the bed bloodied
with your brand
heads hung from halls
and your trophies
filled the cunts
of castles
thighs stood more regal
than any great creation
of slaves
ii.
you took your time
i grew tumors
to throw off
your balance
as i spit
i tracked your liquid
pouring out
milk, on half-grown girls
iii.
i watched
as you caught gold fever
from the rainbow trout
tucked in your teeth
we grew into venom
and all the anger
of a pit-bull
carrying twice
as many diseases
as the cows and birds
i ate it all
like you said i should
and it took two years
to correct my teeth
iv.
now its a marvel-
the smell of fish
and feet
makes me sick
...
among other things.
Author notes
.
i hate the ap spell checker
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Hmm, didn't see this before, but how could I not?
There's so much behind this that I can find in it, and maybe it's just me, but it saddens me greatly, and at the same time, I want to applaud you (or the poem, if you didn't intend explicit content
) for saying it. I love the ambiguity at the end (then again, I'm so tired it may be something obvious that I'm calling ambiguous) but aaaaaanyway, enough of my rambling - this is just amazing. So there.
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Good imagery in this write. Very dark descriptions are used to give us a feel of the beowulf. Nicely done, thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Shirley! It's great to see that you are still writing, although I believe it is truly difficult to take the pen away from the hand of a creator such as yourself. Now to be blunt, this poem bleeds smut! I'm in love/confused by it! Good work none the less!
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Huh?
I am so confused, so do tell me please.
Is this about a wolf with poor hygiene? -
I liked how you divided up the poem, and your imagery is really good! I had a little trouble finding the "direction" of the poem, but perhaps there wasn't really one to find.
I enjoyed reading it!
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This was much more enjoyable to read that the Movie they made based the poem was too watch. The imagry was superb. Very well done!
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I don't know how to use the knew AP spellchecker. I don't think it works on my computer or anything at all. Anyway, this was really cool!
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I have to say, 3 is my favorite, too, but the whole piece is really good. Thanks for sharing this.
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no, not a form, just dividing the thoughts and events up a little.. each part says something different, and i used a different style for each chapter as well..
just a little different than my norm.. thanks for stopping by
-S
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I really like this. The imagery is great, they all pulled together nicely. I like part three the best. Great write!
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Aw, thank you hon, I'm really proud of this write, although I think it could use a little bit more work. Part three is my favorite part too.
-S
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I've never used le spell checker. It makes me angry, so I just ignore it, and pray that my spellings are all right, or that some douchebag will correct me.
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if i don't use it then tyler inevitably comes by and makes fun of me.. funny he never reads my works unless i didn't use the sc- i think he is a mind reader :0
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