You are about to embark
on the story of a child
what you are about to hear
is a story not mild
So if your constitution is
weak you may turn away now
for this is a chapter of me
and I want to tell you how
He was a brutal man as
he swept through my room
my pulse racing, rape
darkness and doom
The plan that he had
was forseen in my future
coming for me this
tiny little creature
He'd already filled
the tub up with water
then tied my hands up
how could he I was his
(step) daughter?
He held my head under till
I could no longer breath
then on the floor raped
he'd finally take his leave
I was alone in the world
there was no one to tell
as I quietly learned to
survive my private hell
I'm a grown woman now
and yes still a daughter
but to this day I still
tread troubled waters...
Author notes
option#3workinghrlyldy
chrissy
Love happens once in a lifetime. The difference lies in how many times you're willing to live in the time that you're alive.
In general i'm not too crazy about water in any form, especially if i have to spend any extended amount of time in ,on or near it.
As part of my efforts to heal from my traumatic childhood, this was a poem that had no other choice than to be told. My mother is no longer married to this animal(divorced when i was 20)i'm 48 now, however he's still alive today probably somewhere around his early 70's. To this day i cannot swim, take baths or turn and face the showerhead when showering. My cross to bear in life i guess.
I'm getting the help i've needed my whole life (but was afraid to ask for) through therapy. I'ts been about a year now, my therapist is like an angel in my life now, she's helping me peel away 40 years of very painful layers, about 6 months into therapy i picked up a pen and wrote my very first poem, i now have i think 59,or so. This i can tell you for sure, there is much healing in the mighty pen. Warmly, Chrissy
A contest entry
- Rape[&&Disgrace] by WishMeAway--x.
450 points, ended May 27, 2007, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PHYSICAL.......abuse by trace3grls.
475 points, ended July 20, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Into the Wind - A contest for victims and survivors- please read by StormGoddess.
800 points, ended July 20, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape & Molestation -How Easy It Is To Ruin A Life- by Dead Star--x.
600 points, ended August 3, 2007, 39 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Abuse Writes Here! (Part III) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1650 points, ended April 27, 2008, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1708 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RAPED by FreeFalling911.
1100 points, ended October 16, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This is a great write but a horrid story behind it.
I am so sorry that you had to go through this.
Just remember that it is not your fault and to eventually let it fade from you mind.
Moving on is the best thing, it doesnt mean that you will forget what happened to you but another relationship can happen after this, you lose trust, but that trust can be regained.
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It is very hard to get over something like that.. the strength that you have to write this is very deep and strong.. I'm sure that your dreams can be hard to handle at times.. I know that this is a very personal write.. and I thank you very much for sharing this with us.. I hope that someday peace will help calm your "troubled waters"... Best of luck in the contest..
Angel
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Wow~ you have definitely been through a lot.
I love your author notes as well. I am glad you are getting out those bottled up feelings and letting someone into your life to help you. Penning is a great way to release: never lose your voice. Your poem is an open book, explaining the trauma in your life. This is one of the more scarier reads I have read, though all of them are quite frightening. There's so much to it...
Thanks for your entry.
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i thought ive rea this before♥ since words cant offer as much as a hug can
Dead Star-x -
so sad. parents arent always the best but i hope you have moved on and ur life is better
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I think if I had my head shoved under water like taht I wouldn't be crazy about water eather. This was a very sad poem, thanks for entering my contest
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What horrible memories-this is a story that must be told. Thank you for entering
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i know what you mean about water, for me its big windows i was so close and i dont like anyone to grab at my feet i'll freak out---i think being fearful of water has got to be worse then feet or windows, because normally water is supposed to mean fun, and cleansing--like i bet you dont go swimming often and i bet showers are a challenge
& writing your story opens you up i cant talk much about it out loud but i can write it all down, let it all out and feel so much better for a little while, and i love that feeling
thanx for entering & good luck
Cure My Tragedy -
Harsh. sorry that happened to you! good work. thanks for sharing it with us. congrats on your wins... and good luck!
Crimson -
OMG, how sad! I am so sorry this was done to you. I understand the felings that as we grow, we can never completely let go. I hope you have since been able to tell someone about this, and if not, at least you have let go of a tiny portion of this by writing it. You are not alone. If ever you need an ear, please feel free to IM me. Thank you for your most personal entry. *hug* Storm
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powerful piece... I am sorry for what happened, but you really turned such a terriable event into an amazing piece of witting... very powerful and well protrayed
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As I read this there was a chill in the air. Such horrific events that have taken hold of your life that should have never happened. I feel for you and I am so grateful that you are peeling through all of this. This piece had vivid images, was well written and exposed great emotion. Bravo for being able to let some of it go and to begin healling. Big hugs to you. Remember that you are a strong vibrant, intelligent woman. While writing this you have begun to heal but you have also shown to others that they are not alone. May your ink never run dry for yours is a voice to be heard. God Bless and many hugs.
Much love and best of luck to you
Dawn
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i'm so sorry you had to go through this, but great imagery. best of luck to you in those contests. God bless.
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this is very sad and heartfelt and i can only send my greatest apologies that you had to go through this. sometimes the people who should be closest to us can shock and hurt us in so many ways which should not happen. im glad the theraphy is working for you. and i send you much love and hope
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Out of the many stories I've heard, this is probabally the sharpest and most poignant that I've ever heard... this is tragic, and it has left scars on you, even though the years have passed... my heart goes out to you... I'm glad that you're going through therapy now, because I believe that therapy can help people with their worst problems... it sounds like it's working well for you.
I wish you the best, and best of luck in the contest Zac
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this is a sad write...but very good write
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how sad
urafinalist! -
Why don't you sue the bastard? If, you can't kick him in the balls then take all he's got. He doesn't deserve any form of happiness. We can only hope God repay him with ailments and suffering. I'm sorry you had to go through this cruelty. The write was excellent, you did a great job.
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This is a very affecting and a most extraordinary and powerful write. The depth of emotion weeping through these words, spilling from every line- it is raw, mournful, devastating emotion that oozes out. I can feel the heartbeat of this poem, feel the surge of its life. This poem is so real and tangible to me. Unfortunately, I can identify very much with this piece, and it breaks my heart you had to endure this horror. This write is excellent, and that last stanza is masterful, “I'm a grown woman now/and yes still a daughter,/But to this day/I still tread troubled waters...” This poem captures the real, vivid horror and disturbance of such a murderous, inhuman act of terrifying abuse, both marring and mangling to the body and the soul. This poem is strong, courageous, and very well done!!!! You have found the words of a bleeding angel, and these words are the stitches to slowly mend the soul. It takes so much courage to write this out, and I commend you for it. Such a tearful and moving write!!!!
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Oh my... that's horrible. I hope you're okay. But I'm sure you've heard that many times and are tired of hearing it.
I really like this write though, it's filled with such emotion and really got me to feel like I was experiencing some of the same things over again, unfortunately. (I was abused by a boyfriend). Bleh. But, great write! Keep it up! ♥ Erin
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wow, all of this, staying away from water in general, what do you do about staying clean? im so sorry. with me, i dont like tiled floors and small narrow rooms, this is soo sad, and god, wow.
thank you for telling your story
♥Chaos
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...I know this life. I somewhat fear to tell it, but I had this happen aswell as a child. It was different then yours, and it is only in the last week that I have ever told anyone that it happened. I can't stand gay men looking at me.
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WOW.... That's effing deep!... You like OWNED it, man!... AMAZING poem, and I'm glad you are no longer involved with that bastard!
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