She’s robbed my soul…
All my desires,
Can feel her warmth
In my tears.
Her sight, acts like
A sweet curse…
A moment of smile…
And an epoch of longing.
My eyes don’t obey me,
Run here and there…
To deceive her absence…
And when she’s near me,
They don’t want to feel her…
Dilemma is what I breathe…
I know she’s not for me…
I agree, dear God…
But why I feel complete
When I see her?
Why my heart beats…
Beat my firmness?
I know my destination…
My love for her…
Is a dead end…
A darkness full of questions,
A path that does not exist,
A waiting betrayal,
And an unfinished…
Incomplete quest…
A journey that started
From my eyes,
That smiled with photographs…
Of her aura,
To this silent heart
Damped with an unfulfilled thirst…
Trapped in unreasonable webs,
Weaved…
By this nomadic mind.
Author notes
for contest : 
username : P A R T H S A W H N E Y
Prompt 2
A contest entry
- 10 Options {Pre-writes aloud} by Little Lesley.
700 points, ended August 28, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes! by Karra-Mayy.
1600 points, ended November 21, 317 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - I want depressing love poetry! by xxvampyregirlxx.
1000 points, ends December 4, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - make me cry, make me feel alive. by savemysoul.
1400 points, ended November 20, 135 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest (everyone is welcome) by serenity silvermoon.
720 points, ended November 14, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites!!!! by Fallen-Thumper.
1200 points, ended November 13, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and romantic by ichigosama.
1100 points, ended November 19, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - A little spark of hope in a cloud of dispair by alone4ever.
700 points, ends December 4, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Beautiful! I loved the strong imagery, love in it's many forms and brilliantly with some brilliant words in here. Great job and well done, thank you for your entry! Best wishes
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despite this being a pre write... it captures the essences of a one way love street that will never leave but it's no use.. just can't help urself
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good write, i liked it. thanks for entering and good luck.
-- jordan -
This was well written. I liked the firs stanza there was alot of imagery through out this whole piece. I enjoyed it. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest Keep up the good work
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this is wonderful.... a completely different kind of writing style and you have done very well
might I say.... wah wah this is such a touching write... all round it was a very good read
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thank u so much
take care
ur pal
~Parth.
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i enjoyed this
as it is very different to the normal bog standed crap i write
lol
well done x -
Nicely done! It's a great poem! Magnificent!
Good luck!
♥~Little Lesley~♥ -
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thank you for ur kind comment..
~Parth
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va,va,va...what' a , love .. nice work .
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hey sonia..
thank u so much for ur comment..
take care
Parth
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Stunning write =] Good job ^_^
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thank you
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I think you wove quite a tale that captures the soul quite solidly..a lot of concrete emotion that tells much of the emotion..good luck in your contests
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thank you so much
take care
-Parth
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True love should NOT be a "dilemma" but a PRIVILEGE
You penned your thoughts werll; thank you so much for sharing and good luck to you -
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thanx a lot..i liked ur comment n u rite..True love is a gift, not a dilemma..
take care
-parth
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Intrinsically drawn forward
but then pulled back by reason,
an emotional dilemma indeed.
You balance the back and forth so well,
laying your angst upon the page.
Well done!!!!!!
M-C
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thanx for likin my piece and the applauds..
glad to knw that u understood my thoughts n my anguish thru it..
lovin' some1 ends u up into a very strange dilemma sometimes..
thanx again..
take care..
parth
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good
first of all i would like to wish you good luck in the contest and secondly this is awesome i loved evrything about it -
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thanx for lovin my piece..
and thanx for wishin me luck...i need it..
take care..
parth.
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Love that makes you stagnate is not love. what a wonderful and dark piece. i think that its something you have really thought about. 'My love for her…
Is a dead end…
A darkness full of questions,
A path that does not exist,
A waiting betrayal,
And an unfinished…
Incomplete quest'
how sad that is. i wish you luck nevertheless. -
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thanx a lot
yeah...love that ties u up is not love...rightly said..
gud to know that u liked my piece and understood my thoughts..
ur comment is highly valued...
take care..
parth
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nice
dont know what to say but i'll probably ruin it if i try....
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thanx for ur comment and the applauds..glad to know u liked my work..
take care..
parth
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No, sorry.
I must agree with Josh. I really like the poem though; just all around it was very good. (: -
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k..no probs...thanx for likin my stuff...
take care..
parth
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your welcome. (:
you too.
p.s. i totally would marry a rubber duck.
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No, sorry.
I felt the elipses to throw this off and, even though the ideas in this piece are good, I think it could be much better. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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hey josh..
thanx for ur comment..and ur opinion abt d piece..
parth
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yes, but cautiously.
i sense talent.
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hey..
thanks so much for ur comment..
parth
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[[Space out your name in your AN and where's my rubber duck? if you've read the rules, you'll understand me]]
This piece is truly sad and painful to read.
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
HI PARTH,
Intense poem here glad to stop by and read it.Very moving and sad emotions.keep on writing.
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i'm a li'l late..but thanx for commentin on my piece..it's highly valued..
parth.
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Heart Touching
Hey Dear........
first of all i am really glad that i am the first one to comment over your poem.though i know i wont be the last one....!!!!!!
So finally you managed to pen down your feelings....and i am proud of the fact that you did this so beautifully......
You know why you are in dilemma??? Coz you are answering your own questions and still not ready to accpet them......you know whats right and what wrong...but the tussle between your mind and heart is pushing you deep into your sceptical thoughts.
The day you find your mind and heart in total harmony.....all you dilemmas will come to and end......
So as far as this poem of yours is concerned..my fav lines areMy love for her…
Is a dead end…
A darkness full of questions,
A path that does not exist,
A waiting betrayal,
And an unfinished…
Incomplete quest…
there is lot more in life than running behind shadows tht cant be chased...You have many more people around that love you truly...Find them before they turn their backs at you to walk out of your life......and leave the rest to god and your destiny...everything would be for good
take care my bro
lov you
tiu tiu
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Hey..thanks 4 commentin..u know ur comments r always special 4 me..
u r rite..and mayb its nothin but controllin urself..rite..
things are simple...but i think i'm makin em complicated...may b coz i think too much...
neways...glad that u liked my piece...
thanks again n b in touch..
bye.
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