Icy breath.
Breathing down my back.
Bringing in my fears.
Chasing away my hope.
Chasing away my dreams.
An icy breath.
Nothing to stop it from coming.
Nothing to keep it from piercing my heart.
Bringing in my sorrow.
Bringing in my heartache.
Bringing it all in.
Making me feel scared.
Making me feel alone.
Ice breath conquers me.
Author notes
Short, and stupid.Sounded better when I wrote it.I still like it though.
Written June 27th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Your best prewrite by glazecovered.
300 points, ended February 23, 2004, 274 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I kinda liked this piece. The thing that kept me reading was how great the imagery is throughout this piece. The vivid pictures and memories that come to mind bring this poem to life through my eyes. nice job and good luck.
Shine,
Baby Star -
Don't mind MaryAnn22. No piece is ever complete, and every poem, even those written by famous poets with a lot of talent, could use some work. But I think that it works very well just as it is. I personally thought it was an interesting piece taht you could read into and overanalyze. I'm not sure what exactly you were trying to convey with it, but I think that it's nice that everyon ecan have their own interpretation. Great job. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck.
~Anastasia -
I know everyone said they really like this and so do I but I do think that it needs little bit of work No disrepect to you or anything like that keep writing and always share your poetryfriend
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I disagree with some of the other comments - that hairs on the back of the neck shiver shiver feeling doesn't seem so much the point you were trying to make so much as some ominous event or presence coming into your life which will cause a change for the worse. i particularly like the repetition - almost as if this thing has already happened and you're looking back and recognising it for the first time as something which changed things. Very nice.
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good
i like it too.it can symbolize different things.no it is not stupid.it reaches to an outer realm.i like it a lot.good luck -
reminds me of the sixth sense when he's going for a piss and it gets all cold.
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NOT stupid.
I wouldnt call it stupid. I enjoyed it. -
i agree! this is in NO way stupid! i loved the words *icy breath*...i've never seen those before, not in a poem like this! i loved your repitions of the words *bringing* and *making* and such, that added alot to the poem. i suppose it would sound better spoken aloud, but its cool as it is! believe everyone that comments lol..
*~!)o(Azul Corte Katze)o(!~* -
Stupid? NO! I really liked this piece of poetry! It kinda reminded me of someone lurking in the background, watching, with icy breath!
Nicely done! *sonya*
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