Oh tell me, world, how winter looks
from where you are, the shadow-lee
of solitude. I’m lost in books,
my back against a greening tree,
my eyes hand-shaded from the sun,
my heart-tropism following
its warmth, its ever-springward run.
The light of youth is mellowing;
no longer bitter, cold, or sharp
upon the tongue, upon the skin
it touches like a songbird-harp…
and thus the works of life begin!
No longer shards of brilliance
brief-born amid the fear, the dark,
the all-consuming ignorance,
full sunshine bids the soul embark.
A resurrected girl belongs
to cool nirvana’s soft salute,
epiphanies, such simple songs
from pen to manuscript, the fruit
of journeys, steps from peace to peace.
Now, taste the zinger on my lips…
here, bring the singing to my mind
with gentleness; your fingertips
stroke strings, make sounds of womankind.
You sing of trials, I hear no pains –
you’re offering libation-cups,
inviting home the precious rains –
where one drinks, all creation sups
the sweetness. Oh, grant me a look
with which to sweeten more my drink.
I was so close to death, and took
but now a step back from the brink!
My zinger-day shall always be
so, singer-soft, enchantment, mild
awakening, the whole of me –
I’ll bear (and name for you) a child
one day, among the homeland-hills,
and mark her growing happiness,
and hope her loving-beaker fills
with zinger-days – and thus I bless!
Author notes
For DJA
In a list
A contest entry
- Enter your all time favorite poem by whispernthedark.
300 points, ended March 29, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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you have very nice imagery!
i especially like: "I’m lost in books,
my back against a greening tree,
my eyes hand-shaded from the sun,
my heart-tropism following
its warmth, its ever-springward run."
this was a very enjoyable read.
some of the langauge might be a bit
archaic but i also feel that you were
probably going for that effect & i'm
not that picky when something is well-
written so yes... very nice work. -
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Thank you. It's often a balancing act with me, when it comes to language choice. Some of my work (if, say, I am going for a gothic or classical feel) deliberately uses language you could legitimately call archaic - but then again it's MY language and I'm using it right now. At other times I just write with whatever language I feel coming out - but again, I grew up reading and studying literature of all ages and stages of "modern English", from Shakespeare and the King James Bible right up to date, so the words and cadences you hear are inevitably going to be built on that experience.
In the case of this poem, it was written following a friend telling me about her "coming out to herself" day; I put myself in her shoes and, as "we" sat against the tree, I let the rhythm of the poem start her rhapsodising...
Thanks for your visit & compliments.
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Wow!
This poem leaves me speechless and makes me feel rather like a small bug in the land of poets and poetresses. It is absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing. ~Peace~Gar
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I am glad you like it. It is a special poem for a special person.
(Is that a Harley?)
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Very rich in imagery, thank you for sharing your favorite with me. Best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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This is beautiful in all aspects, meter, rhyme and image. This poem simply flows into the reader's mind.
Love,
Amera♥
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Sis, I'll let you correct that to "mind" when you get back from the Dominican replublic.
Love.
M
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Wow you have brought spring to life for me here. Such beautiful and awe inspiring imagery. Poetry at it finest, superbly penned. All the best in the contest with it
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brilliant
that person must've been thrilled
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I Love it.
I loved it and loved the happy conclusion. I always loved happy endings. Beautiful to the mind and the heart,
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I wrote it for a beautiful person.
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NO COMMENT
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None needed. Thank you for visiting this one, and the others.
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The snow lies frigid, soft and deep,
21 inches of icicled splendour, casting the rays of a trillion diamonds in the futile sun. My bundled feet leave impressions quickly swallowed by the passing of miniature crystal sculptures, tumbling into their void, and soon no one knows that I have even passed. Invisible poetry plodded out a step at a time in a zig-zag line. You have penned a lovely poem and re-awakened my love for spring just around that distant frosty corner. for that I thank you.~~~Artis
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It is remarkable how many people stumble on this one of mine. Thank you for your appreciation and applause.
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"I’m lost in books,
my back against a greening tree"
"no longer bitter, cold, or sharp
upon the tongue, upon the skin
it touches like a songbird-harp"
"My zinger-day shall always be
so, singer-soft, enchantment, mild
awakening, the whole of me –
I’ll bear (and name for you) a child "
I hate to be that person that simply quotes back the lines that I am certain you as the writer already know, but I love these lines. This poem is very beautiful and there are many moments that grab at the reader and make one not want to leave. I've read this a couple of times and especially love how it rolls off my tongue. Best Wishes!
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Thank you... I put a lot of heart into this poem.
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oh, this is simply wonderful! I cannot wait to read your published poetry...thank you so much for reading mine, too. Love, Lane
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Reading yours is an absolute pleasure.
<3
Marie
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Lovely word "Zinger" lol This again was a fantastic write, the skill with which you weave the rhymes so effortlessly in even such short is amazing.Wonderfully done!
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It's fairly standard iambic tetrameter. The trick is to make it ripple rather than thud. I am glad you like this - I wrote it for someone special, and basically it is a day she described to me.
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It flowed so nicely I din't even notice the meter, I can't seem to find a flaw with the meter either
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I was surprised to see just eight other people commenting on this, when every student of the English language should have left their calling card.
This is in the right category!
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Wow! Now that really is a compliment, John. I admit I am very proud of this. It expressed so well what I wanted it to. The dedicatee actually described to me the day she came out, and I imagined her saying these things to the singer who catalysed that event, while she sipped a zinger.
I guess you don't get to read many "coming out" poems, and so maybe you are right, and more students should get to read this.
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A zinger of a poem
Another intriguingly beautiful poem that leaves one sitting in awe. The words and emotions remain zinging in my head and so enjoyable that I sit amazed and unfullfilled by your words. Words that incite vivid pictures of fantasy and beauty that linger so pleasantly afterwards.
Bazza (Barry)
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Thanks Bazza. This one comes from a description of a day in the life of my partner. The story touched me, and this poem sprang from it.
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Quite beautiful! I love the imagry
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Very glad you like it. (I must get round to some return visits - I am so rarely here these days)
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Beautiful as always Mairi.
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Many thanks
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Springtime radiance shines out!
Glad to think of sitting beneath a tree in the sunshine! Such a day here and it was much enjoyed! Your poem brings splendid images to life and thoughts to one's heart! 
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I hope so, Melodies. Someone very dear to me described to me a special day in her life, and I wrote this poem in celebration of it.
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