On some days, I swear,
the world was a fury
and I would escape
to an oak I knew
that was big enough
for both of us.
And although you never came,
I was content
with pressing my back
against the skin of an ancient
and closing burnt eyes -
to listen for a miracle
or wait on the pulse of an oak tree.
Author notes
somehow I always managed to find you there...
even when you weren't.
A contest entry
- overnight: oak by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended March 7, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very nice.
But not quite up to your best. Still, it has a charm that defies its inadequacies. Read this again:
I was content
with pressing my back
against the skin of an ancient
and closing burnt eyes -
and tell me what's wrong with it. Sometimes we are too close to our writing, and so miss the obvious.
Anyway, it's nice, but what's the reference to Illinois? I thought you'd always lived in Alabama.
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Wonderful poem! You have wonderful talent! =)
~Butterfly
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This is beautiful, a bit meloncholy but perhaps that is what adds to the innocent beauty of it. While the words are simple there is a profound emotion that is woven within these words. A truly wonderful write.
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i crawled into a hollowed out oak once, the only greeting i received was from a rather angry and scared family of bunny rabits.. but i love the wording and flow of this, even if it doesn't bring back the oddest of my memories.
good luck
-S -
pretty spiffy.
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hey
hey claide i'm new to ap but looked though most of your poems and they are amazin hun great read defo --x-x-x-x-x-x-x
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and another brilliant poem from Claide....
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