The definition of pain is the failure to act when you know you should.
A failure to get out and be able to start existing.
Without it the entire system would collapse into itself,
and the people would clamor the rooftops for more depravity.
What is true love and is it found or made?
I have the feeling but neglect to have the heart.
Rotten, black, hollow is the only way to describe my pain.
I wish he was here, I dont even know who he is, what he looks like.
I thought I did but that ended in tragedy for myself .
Where am I going,
sailing deeper into an abyss of sorrows,
I wish I could sing,
I would shake the foundations of this concrete jungle with sweet sounds of remorse and loss.
Broken is the recurring theme of my harrowed soul,
why must I be alone to carry a torch that has long since run out of fuel and flame?
Broken is the sound of collapse.
Broken is the feeling of neverending loss.
Broken by definition
is myself in a state of complete breakdown.
Where the hell am I?
Living between one dream and another.
This is not an existence.
This is sorrow at its most primitive form.
This is hell on earth and I am sitting right hand to the devil himself, holding his hate.
Lies to myself.
Lies to him.
Lies over love is this the way to go.
I should end it all.
Strike myself down for the uncleanliness is hard to distinguish between us.
Is there no end to this road.
Is there no end to my soul.
Is it even real?
Where am I?
This is not the world I was promised.
This is not the life that was envisioned.
Break free from these shackles of pain and remorse only to cut the lifeline of oneself in hope of a greater something.
The fear of a greater nothing is what keeps me in orbit through this miserable existence.
This will be my last stand.
for on this day I stand alone on a shrine of lies, hate, fear, and tears.
Tears have comforted me in the dark through a untold number of sleepless nights.
This will be the end of it all.
Darkness permits only darkness and I willl slumber into it.
Thank you to all that believe in me, even to this point of disparity.
Thank you to all who tried to help me.
It is now my turn.
I laughed, kissed, and attempted to love.
Life becomes at this moment ironic as I wright with one hand and send the hammer back with the other.
One Last irony.
One last laugh.
I'm exhasted.
I shall lie here forever alone.
For there is only myself to comfort me from this day fourth.
Author notes
This is my favorite piece because not only can the reader see it and understand it at the face value, but they can look beyond the words and it will apply to any person. It makes a person think when they read it and most will read it twice.
A contest entry
- BLOOD STAINED TEARS (SUICIDAL LOVE) by Candy Morphine.
300 points, ended June 11, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm not good at much, but I'm great at listening. by Sin Aesthetic.
600 points, ended June 21, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by vampireprincess.
315 points, ended June 25, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1666 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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What is true love and is it found or made?
Is it even real?
Where am I?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love the difficulty in your questions,
and how hardcore they are to answer.
Deep and thoughtful write.
I especially like the end where you say
"I'm exhausted."
Superb.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
-
good job
-
Very good
I wanted to write a poem back to you and enter your contest. But I'm not thinking good tonight. Had a long day at work. This is a beautiful write hope you find your love again. I lost my true love (husband died 12 yearss ago)and maybe someday i'll find a second love.
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Broken;
brutal.
Fear, life, lies,
end and a beginning.
questions, answers
darkness...
from the wings comes the sound of shattered applause. -
this piece is absolutely brilliant, it seems to me that you put a lot of thought, effort and feeling in this write.. I feeling it it has touched me and I dare say I throughly have enjoyed each and every word
The definition of pain is the failure to act when you know you should.
A failure to get out and be able to start existing.
this part that I have pointed out is true and it has hit me damned hard. thank you
luv
J
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obviously very personal
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Word Count: 471
Sorry, but you are over by quite a few words....I would like to thank-you for your entry anhow....good luck with the other contests. -
Nicely done, dark piece filled with such emotion. Good job, Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
well done
you know how when somebody screams, you can hear things in their voice. things that arent said, but instead transmitted through the scream.
this feels like a scream in poem form.
very good thing.
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Wow, this would be depressing as hell if it wasn't so written... instead I find myself in admiration of the depth of emotion expressed here without the melodrama, the woe is me, the neverending stream of 'why me, why now, how'd this happen, its so unfair!' There is actually art to be found in this piece, concentration that has led to a piece of work, rather than the usual vomit that gets spewed up and posted around here for everyone to laugh about and feel sorry for you for.
'Broken is the recurring theme of my harrowed soul,
why must I be alone to carry a torch that has long since run out of fuel and flame?' 'Rotten, black, hollow is the only way to describe my pain.' These lines, the first line, and the use of words like 'disparity' and 'primitive' really emphasise that this is not a poem coming from a angst write, its coming from you head and there's a real brain there. I mean, you could have wrote a three letter word and got away with it, but your choice to use 'smarter' words - those wonderful words you see so rarely used, or used correctly, really makes this a piece to be admired and congratulated. Well Done! I am most impressed
Avian xx
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