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Impelling Fruit

Tumbling ideas fall out of an acorn,
its fruit impelling the soft city ground. Leaving it’s own mark,
quiet records for the members of our future. Or maybe only a distant call... “remember me.”

The soil comforts lost souls, dug at least half way
      three feet under.
Lubricants, saliva of a thirsty thunder god, kiss green shoots to exist.
Wait...
          a few hundred years. Hands wear from rock picking, writing, and caressing the moons
voluptuous waist. A figure commands the shadows to fall. More bold than barbed wire fences.
Thick bark, a poet, falling witness to ever light eyes.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • marrow
    March 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    brilliant imagery, and the juxtaposition of it therein. excellent, excellent work. i am very happy that you are in the fizzy contest, as i see you being able to hold your own among the others, and truly play out a beautiful contest full of writes.

    best of luck to you in this contest for the time being,
    noah


    • flight
      March 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you,
      I'm excited to be part of the fizzy contest!
      Though I admit, slightly intimidated, ahha.
      Thank you for your support,
      and congrats on your silver trophy!!

      peace to all ~flight

      • marrow
        March 7, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        thank you very much, and congrats to your win as well!
        i feel you've definitely the talent, as you have just proved in melissa's contest as well. what's so great about her contests are that they seem to attract and begin picking up some of the greatest writers on the site.

        in this i include both you and giggety. very awesome, worthy reads. i tell you, it truly makes me excited and gunned to go and enter one of hers-- i just never know what awesome talent i will be up against the following time!

        n

        • flight
          March 7, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          Hehe, thanks so much!!
          Yeah, contests are a good way to
          discover wonderful poets!
          Thanks!

          peace to all ~flight

          • marrow
            March 7, 2007

            Edit | Reply
            mmmm, so true!
            to be honest, my list of favorites used to be around 48. i read maybe 3- 4 of them on a regular basis.

            within the last two months of contests on ap, i now have 96 and i love them so much that i can't begin to even choose who to read first!

            • flight
              March 7, 2007

              Edit | Reply
              Haha, yes what a delima!
              Before I add someone to my favorites I always
              ask myself if I'll really read their stuff often
              or just reconize that they've written.
              Trully it must be hard to keep
              up with that many poets!!

              peace to all ~flight

              • marrow
                March 7, 2007
                Edit | Reply
                it is, so therefore i hold many contests (or fizzy.) that way, i am forced to read their work very, very often.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    March 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Truly well done. Your images are thick but still full bodied and easy to decipher. Very nicely done.


    • flight
      March 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Coming from you, that means alot!
      Thanks for the bronze!!

      peace to all ~flight


  • Freakmachine
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lovely, as usual. You've got quite a few typos, though. You want "its" in line 2. Confusing, I know, but the apostrophe in "it's" takes the place of the letter 'i', (so it means "it is") rather than showing possession like it does in most cases. In line 3 I think you mean "quiet" not "quite". Also in line 8 I think you want "moon's". just a few typos, nothing big. Lovely lovely poem. Keep writing!

    • flight
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for catching those!
      Gosh, I do the "quiet" and "quite" thing waaay to often.
      And to think...I want to teach English. Hah.
      Thanks again for being very helpful!

      peace to all ~flight


  • Ryno
    March 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Vibrant, filled with life. Breathtaking
    Keep up the good work...
    ~Ryan~


  • SurelyWritten
    March 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is stunning-

1 - 16 of 16