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Four Eyes

 

 

 

 

I have to wear these glasses

forced is more the word

They feel so very awkward

and make me look the nerd

 

It's really put a damper

on my savoir faire

Clashing with my vanity

and anything I wear

 

A pair of optic pains

tormenting my poor nose

Seeing SHE'S the boss of me

must listen, i suppose

 

That evil wicked woman

disrupting my moxie

The sweat in bringing sexy back

... no easy task for me

 

I'll need to change my image

attract with just my brain

Learn to play the wise guy

view ardor with disdain

 

Make like I'm a thinker

steal insightful quotes

Sit upon a mountain

and doodle profound notes

 

No more walking blindly

or squinting in your face

I'll impress you from a distance

bring doughnuts just in case

 

Things are so much clearer

there's hope for my love life

Nothing's going to stop me now

Well, unless you count my wife

 

 

Please tell you what me thinks

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Comments

1 - 83 of 83

  • Ithica silver member
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha! Ha! I can relate to this... it's hell when your eyesight starts to go, and it turns into a battle that you just can't seem to win... this made me laugh!


  • Meridian
    July 12, 2007

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    Bravo

    Another brilliantly penned piece Methinks your talent knows no bounds This like every poem you've written before it was a complete joy to read. You have an awesome way with words and boy do you know how to use it! *hugs*


  • Robberty Bob
    July 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    haha! Very fun! I couldn't agree more!


    • galfalfa gold member
      July 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Bob so glad you agree See, proof that i once did have a working muse....

      galfalfa


  • Bungalow Bill
    June 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is astoundingly good....


    • galfalfa gold member
      June 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      aww, thank you for your kind words and for checking this out

      appreciate it!

      galfalfa


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh YES ! I can relate to this. I've been a member of the four eyes club since I was about 7 years old. Am now 50 and STILL hate wearing them. Did try contacts for a while, with no luck Well done indeed.


    • galfalfa gold member
      June 5, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      LOL contacts...i imagine its like, "You want me to poke myself in the eye with this here piece of glass/plastic on purpose AND leave it in there ???"

      I had no idea there was a four eyes club - lucky for me my vision is still excellent - hey! Where did you go? Oh there you are

      Loved your comment, and appreciate the applause,

      galfalfa


  • EternitysLastWish
    May 3, 2007
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    LMAO! Brilliant! I do love your work, it's always a giggle. Thankyou for sharing


  • Wee Beastie
    May 2, 2007

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    hahahahaha funnyness i toldly know the whole glasses thing but people tell me all the time i look sexy in them so the whole rant of the glasses only lasted two months
    but yay goodd poem

    ~~Chef W.B.


  • Sarah957
    April 27, 2007

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    HAHAHA She see's through the scam huh? What a surprise. I like the glasses backround.
    You made me grin on a hard morning, thanks.


  • individuality gold member
    April 19, 2007

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    yay for doughnuts lol - ah specs, i have four pairs here and i hardly ever wear any of them lol vanity, the bane of us all


    • galfalfa gold member
      April 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      four pairs???

      Wow thats alot of specs...Oh the vanity of it all eh, watch you dont end up getting squint lines

      Loved your comment and appreciate the applause

      galfalfa


  • Vickie J
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, getting glasses ain't the half of it-Once you've got em and decide ya can't live without em-you'll misplace them-it'll constantly be "Now where did I lay my glasses down?" Then you'll get a spare pair and you'll see one set lying by the phone and reach out to put them on and realize you already have a pair planted on your nose. And boy, you never break em when it's convenient-it's just right when you're deeply involved with some big issue that requires your full vision attention on a Saturday night when there is nothing open until Monday and ya have to suffer-try and make those arms grow longer-ah....not fun at all, not at all~


  • raspberry Greeters member
    April 10, 2007

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    Cool

    This is pretty cool deary i just like the way u write and simply love u for what u are.. love ya loads..


    • galfalfa gold member
      April 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Luv ya back

      Thank you raspberry - so glad you enjoyed this and it means a lot that you luv me the way i am

      galfalfa


  • powerslave
    March 26, 2007

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    'There's nothing wrong with glasses', or so my optician said as he planted this big bastard pair of NHS classics on my face. It was all downhill from there on.

    But enough of that. I loved the poem! I thought the clearer/now rhyme in the last stanza was a piece of inspired genius!

    What? They don't rhyme?!?! No wonder all my poetry falls flat on it's face. Good job it doesn't wear glasses, else it could crack a lense. And there's nothing worse than a cracked lense (other than prostate trouble).

    Well done Galfalfa, to the top of the class!


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thankyou!

      Gosh , if i told you how much i missed you, it'd probably give you a swelled head so i wont.
      Genius? Me? The one who calls Can'tada my home ..
      I do hope to see one from you soon - showcase that extrordinary er um British humour - just because it's not genius material like the cleverness and wit that exudes from us Canadians...it still holds a certain charm of its own.

      I will end this now by asking in the words of the late great MPK

      Please pick your poetic pen back up and...

      galfalfa


  • faderman1959
    March 10, 2007

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    I've been waiting for a new poem from you! It was well worth the wait I see! This had me laughing for sure and I just loved the ending! Women have to be in control whether it be his glasses or his wife. This was great fun gal!


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Rob, woe to the man who is hen-pecked..
      I've a few aunts like that...forever bawking at their husbands...even making them dress in what they feel they should be wearing. No wonder they stray...or leastwise fantasize about doing so.
      Sure loved your comment and appreciate the applause

      galf


  • clara wilson-nelson
    March 10, 2007

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    VERY FUNNY HILARIOUSSS

    great read and i am into comedy and a good joke and this one is right up there in an artful way however i thaught all through why not contacts if the optic pains are that distasteful for you


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      LOL..because he may very well view it like i would wearing contacts...you want me to on purposely poke those in my eye and walk around with that, I've something in my eye feeling every day??? Yeah ok , right away and why dont i just finish it off with slamming my finger in this here car door for you.

      Actually i did have a stanza in there to that effect but took it out as his bossy wife was in charge of his glasses and he had no say...

      Hey, i sure loved your comment and appreciate the applause ,

      galfalfa


  • paullallady silver member
    March 10, 2007

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    This is very cute. I started wearing glasses in fourth grade, and have cursed them many times over the years. You did a wonderful job of expressing the emotions that many hold over the idea of wearing glasses. great job.


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for reading and commenting
      I've perfectly clear vision and i'm grateful for it although most of my siblings wear glasses and both my parents did...
      Appreciate you checking this out,

      galfalfa

  • slberkeley
    March 9, 2007

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    What a wonderfu sense of humor. I became a four eyes a few years ago and find them more annoying than I could put into words. You, however, did not have a problem with that. Very well written excellent meter and nice unforced rhyme. enjoyable to read. Nice job


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    March 9, 2007

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    just the thing i needed, how charming this is!

    i love the way you used rhyme here, hon, and i loved the way you went on about glasses and the way they torment, but yet, they also help you be yourself.... sometimes, when I wear my glasses, i get this itchy place on the top of one of my ears, andit is annoying, but then, again, at least I can see stuff and then the little itch goes away and then i can be me. I also loved your last stanza. I really enjoyed this cool little poem you've penned. I love your poems. ,,,Danni/galfalfafan


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      LOL galfalfafan

      Thank you for checking this out...loved your comment and appreciate the applause,

      galfalfa


  • LittleAnn
    March 9, 2007

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    This is so wonderfully humorous! I love this, the rhyming and rhymthm make this poem even better than than it is, looking at the content (which of vourse is also very delightful)

    Thanks for sharing this amazing write!
    Keep it up!
    Annie


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hiya Little Ann,

      Thank you so much! Tickled that you enjoyed my silly scribble,

      Loved your comment and thank you for the applause,

      galfalfa


  • April Renee
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    hahahaha

    No more walking blindly
    or squinting in your face
    I'll impress you from a distance
    bring doughnuts just in case

    and the ending is priceless. loved it. enjoyed!

    blu


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you! So glad you liked this!
      Appreciate your comment and the applause,

      galfalfa


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I got my glasses in grade 8 and hated them with a passion. When I got a job in high school got contacts, and loved them. after I got married, had kids and got sick once, I took them ouot, and never put them in again. Those were the hard contacts, not the soft disposable ones they have now. Thought this was so funny, good rhythm and rhyme, flow and cute message.


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks granny ...glad you enjoyed this , appreciate and loved your comment

      galfalfa


  • LadyUnique silver member
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this humor in this just radiates off the page... you've a way with the written comedic word... if there is such a word as 'comedic'??
    light-hearted and fun done in solid rhyme


  • heartnsoul
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I sit here in the library giggling like hell. Every one peering over the top of their computer So now that you mention it I WILL don my glasses. At least I'll "look" smart while giggling wait, they say talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence, hmmmm...
    This was great Gal! Thank you I needed that!
    Michelle


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hiya Michelle,
      I do so appreciate you reading and commenting..I've missed our yahoo chats ..sure hope you get your computer problems solved.
      Actually i dont think anyone looks smarter or nerdy wearing glasses, its just that weirdo guy's insecure thoughts in this poem

      So glad you enjoyed this, means alot,

      galfalfa


  • SurelyWritten
    March 7, 2007
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    Lol, I love the twist ending, very humorous.. I remember the day I first got glasses, I hated it. I thought my life was over, and then I got contacts. They're so painful, that now I've switched back to my glasses. Now they're not so bad lol. Anyways, sorry for the ramble.. Good write.

    -S

    • galfalfa gold member
      March 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks Surely - i appreciate you reading and commenting on my poem,

      galfalfa

  • oneluckygirl
    March 7, 2007

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    I LOVE...

    not only the wonderful galfalfa stamp of humour but also the way the last lines make the title reverberate just one more time -- almost as if I should have seen it coming.

    I am wondering if you are suggesting glasses would at least make me "look" smarter. If so, I'll immediately head to my local thrift store and stock up. a pair for my face, one for my head, another for my pocket and most definitely one to hang on those lovely beaded hang chains around my neck. (At least that way I'll have a snowballs chance in hell of finding one of them when I need them. )

    love this and love you,
    Jane


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Janey for putting this comment in it's rightful place, love it!
      Gosh, if you "look" any smarter people will start to talk, they'll say...Say, whats that smart looking woman doing sitting on that little red wagon being pulled along by that weirdo Canadian girl galfalfa

      Love you back, thank you Petal!


  • WelshDragon
    March 7, 2007

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    Superb

    Hahahahaha. Love it.
    Slightly disagree with the premise that GLASSES make you look a nerd?!
    I DRINK out of them all the time, and I don't look a nerd.
    Sooorrry... Someone had to do it
    Another hilarious write G. Your usual silky rhythm, and off-the-wall humour.
    Not enough of yours on AP
    Superb write, as always......

    And another of your home made backgrounds?
    Excellent !
    WD


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You could very well be suffering from nerd-ick-a- litus ...in non medical terms, nerd denial.
      For it sounds to me like you're refusing to acknowledge the fact that you do indeed require glasses but refuse to wear them for their intended porpoise....
      I'd even go as far as to say, you probably make a
      spectacle out of yourself with your optical illusions

      Loved your comment WD, thanks for the comment and applause, appreciate it,

      galfalfa


  • J Rhys Davies
    March 7, 2007

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    You are so bad, but so good at it. Every time I read something listed as humor from you, I KNOW I will get a good laugh out of it. Especially with the endings, since you love those darn punch line types. Awesome job my dear as always!

    ~ John


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      LOL..oh come on now John, you like it when i'm bad Nothing compared to you "in your thighs" piece but hey i'm trying
      I do get the odd im asking "don't you have any serious poems or love poems"
      I was thinking on turning into one of those deep spill my guts about every little problem and heartache since birth poets...seems to be popular on this site, it would probably get me more comments from some,but hey so long as you keep coming around, i'll be happy

      thanks John, loved your comment,

      galfalfa


      • J Rhys Davies
        March 7, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Of course I will always keep coming on by. Not too many people in this world make me laugh like you do.

        Don't ever conform and become one of those sappy poets. There's enough of us on the site as it is. We need the ones that are brilliant with humor.


  • Jillosophy
    March 7, 2007

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    Oh lordy! Tis to funny. Course I would hope that more than just the wife would stop him. But whatever it takes to keep them on the straight and narrow. Course now that he can see it he can probably also see how she's been dressing him all these years.

    jill


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I'm afraid a wife can throw a wrench into a man's love life..more so then a pair of glasses
      Thanks for your comment and applause Jill,
      appreciate it,

      galfalfa


  • Dragon Tamer
    March 6, 2007

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    Hysterical

    Well Gal,
    I really love this one It is so realistically funny, and the rhyme and flow were awesome too.I really loved the ending, it made this funny poem even funnier;
    Thanks for the evening giggles.
    DT


  • majix
    March 6, 2007
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    he he he.... certalinly worth of more applause than provided here


  • majix
    March 6, 2007

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    The Eyes have it!

    I can see clearly that the focus of this was not just at the optically deprived. People with glasses get no respect. I tried going without them and a policeman stopped me and asked for my license.

    He looks at it amd says, "Mr., Your license indicates that you should be wearing glasses."

    I answered "Well, I have contacts."

    The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

    Just no respect at all.

    Loved every word of your poem, Galf


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      The Eyes have it!

      LMAO, thats an oldie but goodie isnt it? I have contacts ..well i dont care who you know
      Say, didnt you steal that from Rodney Dangerfield?
      Sure had me giggling, thanks for the comment, loved it and for the applause,

      galfalfa



  • DiamondOfAngels
    March 6, 2007

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    Well put together and funny! It has good flow, easy to understand, and the ending to me is the best.
    Keep up the good writes!

  • Emmanuel Cant
    March 6, 2007
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    ho,ho,hooooooo, funny, funny stuff, for sure.....


  • leo2
    March 6, 2007

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    Excellent work my friend. You have a humorous way of 'seeing' things from the other side. Thanks for the chuckles.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • drybones
    March 6, 2007
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    Excellent

    Best laugh I have had in a long, long time. Thank you for sharing your talent.


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you drybones - glad this gave you a laugh
      Appreciate the comment and applause,

      galfalfa


  • daisybee
    March 6, 2007

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    Spec-tactular!(Groan)

    You really made me laugh, a funshine poem that has charm. I rememeber being amazed that stuff had actual edges the first time I put glasses on- good times xx

  • the deepest angel
    March 6, 2007
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    your poem is very good if it is coming from you then i know where you are coming fro


  • Lollilou2
    March 6, 2007

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    Fantasic little poem that brightened up my lunch break no end!

    Didn't see that little ending coming either!

    Creative, humerous, brilliant.

    Thanks for such a great poem


  • Star Shine
    March 6, 2007

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    As a myopic presbyopic, I totally eye-dentify with this. Great rhythm, lots of fun, thanks for sharing this!


  • Blut Rot
    March 6, 2007

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    Another Fantastic Write!

    YOur are phenomonal at writing offbeat humorous Poems that always brings a smile to my face. Thank you for sharing this great piece of work with all us want to be's. keep on writing. Blut Rot


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Praise like that coming from you..i'll take it and put it in my pocket, to take out every now and again to fire my muse

      thank you for commenting and the applause,

      galfalfa


  • Sherry gold member
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sis, you have always had a funny sense of humor and light hearted spirit. You could make someone smile and lift the sadness from life itself in those that need a smile. ((((My Sis)))))) ♥ Me

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for such a wonderful comment Sherry, glad you enjoyed this - loved your comment and thank you for the applause

      galfalfa


  • Legend silver member
    March 6, 2007

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    A wonderful piece that amused me no end I recall the first time I put on my own glasses The clarity made me feel sick I seemed to be everlastingly lifting my feet to step over imaginary bumps in the pavement Excellent a joy to read


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Although i've never worn glasses...both my parents did and remember my dad saying the same thing the sudden clarity and over compensating for it can really trip you up ..loved your comment Legend and thank you for the applause,

      galfalfa

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    As ever your humour tickles the funnybone and lots of other bones in the process!Your rhyme flowed freely without being forced and am glad I came across this before I sign off with a smile and a yen for a doughnut now lmao


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Well if brains doesnt attract the opposite sex i thought to add an enticement - although not having much of a sweet tooth i do appreciate and enjoy a lemon filled powdered doughnut from time to time...
      Thank you Yvett, loved your comment and thanks for applause

      galfalfa


  • gullionmar
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very well written

    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hiya,

      Thanks for checking this out -really appreciate it!


      galfalfa


  • B Chandler
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Unique and Creative

    As irony would have it, I can no longer where glasses but I do admire how the persona of both the glasses and the indivdual are taken into the same account. Keep penning and I simply adore the rhyming flow of this


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for commenting and for your applause,
      glad you enjoyed this,

      galfalfa


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    so now you have specs appeal
    and the brighter type you will attract
    no more days of settling for
    the old one with cataracts.

    enjoyed this Gal, you are a real nut...peace Terry


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Terry for stopping in and leaving your mark - and for the applause, appreciate it!
      Glad you enjoyed

      galfalfa


  • boy-poet
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    creative

    i enjoyed it it was interestign and fun to read


  • Endeavor gold member
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    CooL

    All very clever

    Interesting you wrote this from the male POV

    Like it

    Rick


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks Rick for checking this out..appreciate your comment and the applause

      galfalfa

  • kirkman
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Love it!

    Great. Funny. Flows pretty well. Loved the "surprise" ending.


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for commenting on this and my other piece, and for the applause - appreciate it

      galfalfa


  • wheezyanna
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice one Gal. One wee niggle though - the 14th line - 'dousing my moxie' doesn't seem to scan quite right, maybe if you put in the word 'all' as in 'dousing all my moxie' might make it sound better.
    Otherwise well done as usual.
    (I'm having a rare day at home so am trying to catch up)
    Cheers
    Anne


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks Wheezy for commenting and the applause, i have read this aloud countless times and to me it just doesnt feel like it needs *all* in there ...perhaps it will tomorrow ..may change it to disrupting ...extra syllable

      galfalfa

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