Eyes are called doorways, windows to the soul.
Only, mine are locked tight
And I’ve thrown away the keys.
I've hidden away my smile, my laugh
My hopes, and my dreams.
All that’s left are nightmares, pain, and lies
Lies I’ve been told and taught to believe
So now they are truths I hope to one day achieve
Behind my eyes there lies guilt for who I am,
Hidden behind self-hate for what I’ve become.
It’s all masked by such rage I can hardly think.
A silent anger for all the looks thrown my way,
So no one can see the damaging onslaught
Damage I caused myself without a second thought.
It’s as if I don't fit in,
Not even in my own skin
And it’s my fault because,
I'm my own worst enemy
Worse than you’ll ever be
http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p177/MiZZ_AmAyA/Contest%20One/7.gif
Author notes
Picture inspiration for contest
Contest) LOTS of picture prompts to choose from by Paloszoo
http://cleopata.deviantart.com/art/Hide-Don-t-Seek-98296230
A contest entry
- Pic Inspired- For those with no or very few trophies by MiZZ-AmAyA.
475 points, ended March 14, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever by crazymomma.
450 points, ended June 9, 2008, 76 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling ALL Poets! ~ A Poetry Extraveganza by Shassidy.
475 points, ended July 18, 2008, 84 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (Contest) LOTS of picture prompts to choose from by Paloszoo.
525 points, ended October 7, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a sad poem by Do I look good.
530 points, ended December 29, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wonderful, soulful write. I can relate well to your painful, well chose words. Thanks for entering my contest. I’m honored that you would show your work here. Keep up the great writing!
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This is a great piece! The first thing I did, before reading the poem, was pull up the picture that this was written about. It's an amazing picture and after reading the poem, I think you captured it well. The flow in this is a bit choppy and a few of the ideas are clichéd, but it's good overall. I like how you opened the poem with a cliché and then kind of turned it around for the poem, it worked really well to capture my interest and attention and it's a great way to open. As for the flow in this, there really isn't a whole lot of flow until the rhyming parts, which I think you did a great job with. The flow wasn't there for the rest of it though, at least not to me. In either case, that brings me to the rhyming parts, which are some of my favorite parts of this piece. I think you did a great job with the rhyming. The other parts that I love are the first three and last two lines in the first stanza because they are worded really well and are very strong. As for the title, it works well using the first line as a title because that first part really catches reader's attention, but that first line is also the cliché, so I think it would be better with a non-clichéd title. Anyway, so a bit of work on flow, which probably just takes a bit of rewording, and this poem would be fantastic. Overall, great job and good luck in the contest!
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I think you call them doors because you decide to lock them in the first place.as you admit to being your own worse enemy, and that is the first step to recovery, and self confidence,, good luck
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straight and too the point and very "painful" if you understand what i mean. I can feel the pain in this poem. i feel the hurt. the guilt. they way you put the words like that and wrote in that such of form it is just magnificent!! i love it! great!! u did a great job on this. you should enter this in a few more contest!! i am sure you would win!! and congrats on ur silver trophy!!!
SilverWolf
HOOOWLLL
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wow this is a heavy piece indeed. greta take!
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Got dayem. I mean shit. No bullshit there, just straight and to the point. i can feel you on this one. That kind of hit me in my mental dumplings, if ya catch my drift. thats never easy to do.
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Thanks for entering
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