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No Sanctuary

A little girl who
Lost her childhood
She would have fought you
If only she could

It was a dark road
There were two men
Her skin was so cold
Knowin she'd been

Violated
The cemetery
She wished she were dead
No sanctuary

She can't escape it
It's always with her
She has to live it
Over and over

It was a dark road
There were two men
She was so cold
Knowin she'd been

Violated
It was scary
No one to turn to
No sanctuary

She has her life now
He's the victim
She knew that somehow
She'd never let him

Violate her
The cemetery
Now that he's dead
She found her sanctuary

Author notes

B l u e c o l l a r l o v e

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • WednesdayJade
    April 5
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, also could you please s p a c e out your name in the author's notes... can't read it otherwise
    x x x

  • WednesdayJade
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, I think it's written really well.

    She can't escape it
    It's always with her
    She has to live it
    Over and over

    This part really stood out to me. I love the repetition you've used throughout and I also love the positive attitude at the end, how she's free and no longer the victim (I realise she only feels free because he's dead, so depending on how you look at it that may not be a positive... I think it is =D)
    x x x


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am so sorry this ever happened to the one it was written for and everyone else...I live with the same inner disgust and fear and trust issues, courtesy of the one who raped me...


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is so powerful and I love the repitition. WELL DONE and thankyou for entering this piece.

    ~*~DramaQueen469~*~


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm, I like how the story of this twists around... he violates her and shows her a weakness she hates and then he is violated and left for dead, like he did to her all those many years ago... I think many who have been abused, raped or beaten up would like to have this role reversal happen. Very intense write here.

  • The Inc
    March 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this tragic write; however, the rhyme seemed a bit scattered at intervals and the "violated" as the first line of various stanzas really made the rhyme and flow erratic.

    Thanks for entering this contest. Good luck.

    ~The INC."


  • InMyFlames
    January 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is creapy, and so sad. how people are such bastards today is beyond me. i thankyou for your entry, keep on writing in the future


  • TwiztidMaggot
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. I could have sworn I had commented this one. I guess not. ha. You did a wonderful job writing this though. Keep up your amazing work.

    Crimson


  • Ntagatf
    September 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great write hun, reminds me of a song, anyway you did an amazing job on this, thanks for entering my contest good luck and keep up the outstanding work!


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow thats deep


  • JoyfulWriter
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful images here

1 - 11 of 11