My apartment is a wreck- it needs to be cleaned again.
My prescriptions give me shallow relief.
My job is not what I dreamt it to be.
My son would do better without me.
-Such sad truths in an even sadder existence.
I am just another nobody trying to be somebody.
Who am I?
I am just another name on a work schedule.
What am I?
I am just another drunk crying about my problems.
Where am I?
So many- many years ago,
I went to school and I was happy.
Life was simple.
So many-many years ago,
I grew up and I was sad.
Life became complicated.
Simplicity had ran its course.
It always does.
Could I be something more than a waste of space?
I doubt it.
Is there a reason to keep living?
Probably not.
Is there a point to my life?
I don’t think so.
Misery is all I have known.
Defeat is all I can understand.
Hopeless is all I’ll ever be.
Pain-
The Meaning of My Life.
Author notes
Number 1- C
A contest entry
- Blinded Sorrow by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended June 3, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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kewlness
This was really good. I felt the emotion within this. You showed how you feel like a "no body" (no that you are or anything) with everything to lose. Great write and great job. However I have to dq you for not following my last rule of putting the appropriate things in the notes box. Sorry. -
it's really full of emotion and it made me think... good job and thanks for entering my contest... ^-^
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WOW!!
This is AMAZING. I am awed. Truly, I am. You are quite the poet! I could feel the pain and strife in this piece. It made me walk a mile in another person's shoes. A FANTASTIC work. Well done. Good luck in the contest!
<3BeautifulDisaster9
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Wow....
This is so full of raw emotion, and so sad....
I am just another nobody trying to be somebody.
Who am I?
I am just another name on a work schedule.
What am I?
I am just another drunk crying about my problems.
Where am I?My favorite part... :)
As far as stanza one though, the part about your prescriptions giving you a shallow relief, and sad truths but an even sadder existance....I can sadly relate. This poem kinda hit home for me in some places....Great job writing it, and sharing it!
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Wow, I can really feel the true emotion in this poem. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Very nice poem I could feel teh emotion in this piece it was very good. Thank you for sharing.
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I hope you do well in the contests because this is oe mighty powerful poem Brilliantly penned.Am I impressed HELL YES
Your words flow with ease and as the lines unfolded the vividly portrayed picture frame by frame filled my head and played out into a dark place in life One I feel a number of people will relate to within their own life.When I look at the title I have the feelings that your character is ready to drink their cup of poison. Thank you for the pleasure of the read
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new thought
when death is sure let us invite it with open hands to take on a golden chariot to appease others atlest.
a new thought with good crafting of words -
This piece makes me feel so helpless and hopeless that I want to take some prozac to feel better. Great job on conveying the mood.
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Impressive
Interesting piece. I like it. One can really connect to the poem on a certain level, as it seems as though you are trying to talk to the reader rather than just jotting down your thoughts and musings. Part of what really got to me, and what I feel might make it hard for some people to relate, is your tone. It was an incredibly apathetic tone, almost fully devoid of emotion. One can still feel some pain in this, but the overall mood and tone are that of someone who doesn't give a shit anymore. Loved the second and fourth stanzas, they work amazingly well with the entire poem. You had a small mistake though:
Could I be something more than a waist of space?
The word you're looking for is "waste," as in trash, useless. You used "waist," as in the body part. Careful with that.
Other than that spelling error, a great write. keep up the good work.
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Very well done. But there is meaning to your life. Keep searching, never accept defeat and never drop to anothers expectations. You are greater than you think.
Hugs and bites, Vampy -
I love the darkness in this. The first stanza doesn't seem to fit the mood for me. I love the title too.
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a very powerful piece, alot of good ideas and emotion. i like the way you ask questions within the poem, it has great effect. i wish you luck in the contest
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i like this-it says a lot. but in reality there are millions of 'nobodys' & isnt everyone trying to atleast be somebody-for people to go up to & say hey i know him/her to be reconized for something good instead of all the horrible crap? i dunno i know im nobody but im trying to be somebody all i ever want to be is somebody to someone... good luck in the contest!
*Abused
*
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Hey, what a explosive write you have done here, my pal! Very dark but with much twisted emotion...sadness lingers and I want to reach out and shout..Hey you are somebody! Keep writing, cleansing the soul of those wasted unwanted, not true thoughts...but I have to admit, have been down this twisted path of thoughts and feelings myself, but today, am glad I am of existence...
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Checkers? May I be the black please?
Very good job with this one maxdizzle...I like it, such a perfect read on my mood today
I wish you the best of luck in this contest...I hope you win...Perfect background and flow. Keep it flowing my love...
Always and Forever
Love
Emily
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