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Dust Driven Angel Eyes

Dust arranged by multi-colored faeries
Sprinkle upon her back
To give her what she lacks
Prayed beautiful
In all of whats today
Give her these wings
Her soul to fly away

Love marks beauty
To those in which we see
Having these wings
Enables her to be
Bring comfort and worth
To those there all alone
Grace all of which her presence
Show them all compassion they deserve
Be it that their angel

Don't wonder around
Looking for ones you love
The gods disapprove
They reign from above
They'll cast down their others
And bring the dark sky's eyes
Rip those wings from thy back
Till all is gone
Dry eyed

She sees her true love
Walking lonely beneath the trees
He walks like wind
Moving gracefully
She moves her hand over those cheeks
One last time
The gods shake their heads
To her wings shall die

Ripped off of her once holy back
Leave thick red scars
Where they marked their path
The sky is gray
And the water is high
Waves to and fro
One then the other
Her screams you cannot hear
For the crash of water
Wash away her tears

She stands there lonely
For she wont be forgiven
She broke the law
Of the gods
Dust driven

Author notes

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y57/Kit_kat_katie05/The_Sea_and_Broken_Wings_by_LuneBle.jpg

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • yesterdaysfeelings-
    May 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    woah this is really good. also very interesting and keeps you reading. i like thsi alot=].


  • Death of the Author
    May 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this a lot, it has a sadness that hangs over it as she hung over her beloved. The flow is for the most part good and the story is told well. Thank you for entering, take care and good luck x


  • aGent Lemon
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.


    You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got.


  • x.digital.love.x
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the first lines of this poem deifinitely made me want to keep reading....this was amazing. i really liked it. my fav stanzas:

    Ripped off of her once holy back
    Leave thick red scars
    Where they marked their path
    The sky is gray
    And the water is high
    Waves to and fro
    One then the other
    Her screams you cannot hear
    For the crash of water
    Wash away her tears

    She stands there lonely
    For she wont be forgiven
    She broke the law
    Of the gods
    Dust driven

    great poem. thanks for entering
    and good luck in the contest.


  • Hell In Harmony
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dust arranged by multi-colored faeries
    Sprinkle upon her back

    Those first lines were just breath taking,
    Really.
    I like the strpy you have told here, and how the mood really changes and shifts. It makes it a really enjoyable read:

    She sees her true love
    Walking lonely beneath the trees
    He walks like wind
    Moving gracefully
    She moves her hand over those cheeks
    One last time
    The gods shake their heads
    To her wings shall die

    I also liked the subtle accidental, or maybe purposely....

    anyways rhyme you used
    it was nice<33
    Thank you for entering
    Goodluc

1 - 5 of 5