Hell's mammoth ride

Four of us have driven out to Grange Valley amusement park today
A torrid and freaky Friday afternoon
The sun blazes on the colourful new star attraction
The infamous 'Punisher' ride
The most whopping and elaborate rollercoaster on earth

I'm feeling terror at it's very repute
See the track soar a nightmare three hundred feet
Dangerously into the bluest sky it smoothly reaches
It drops yet further, below the land that the eye can see
Into a darkness with unknown twists, worse, drops into hell's fiery lair

I shudder as our turn arrives to board
The gaunt face of a lifeless Italian man leaves the ride in the mode of a sheer zombie
As we are first seated, nervous and petrified, the carriage jumps
Oh my god!
The train shudders forwards, like a skeleton menace courting death

Ascending faster now we encounter eerie ghosts, peerless phantoms
A witch screams giving me a jolting fright
Now we are sweating blood over this ride of doom
Suddenly we take a 'minor' drop at a sickening rate
To my horror the drop lingers seconds too long for me - aaaarrrrggghhh!

I check my strap, is it loose?
The enormous loop the loop is coming up fast - too fast, oh god!
In a circle of terror we scream as the carriage rocks and judders
We oscillate back and forth in a cruel cat's cradle
I shiver as the train reverses poised for a horrific backward drop

We plummet into Satan's ruby lap
Aaarggh! I catch my cowardly breath
We race forward alarmed at our unknown fate
Slowly, distressingly, we mount the greatest ride climb in the world
A sharp jolt hurls us forward - help! Oh god help me!
With a will of it's own the carriage dangles us over the edge!

This is the moment of sheer terror
Hear the silence
See the colossal drop into hell
More than three hundred feet of sheer vertical drop
Feel your life flash before your eyes

A neon sign in front of me says get ready to drop
Oh my! This is it, we anticipate the drop into hell
Sheer terror fills my nostrils
Feel the sweat dripping, we jolt forward
We free-fall and the nightmare drop lasts forever - Aaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!