You go on to talk about;;
just how much you [lovelovelove] me
while I sat there with my pasted-on-smile,
shredding your notes with my torn fingers beneath the table.
I b-b-bled sparkles all over your suicide letter;;
the one you taped to the foggy mirror,
[before expiring on the clean linoleum]
oh baby, you know how badly blood stains tile;;
(it'll take me years to get rid of the traces of you)
breathing in;;
lightening shivers down my ribcage
and.play.me.a.pretty.melody.
on
my
bones.
[shake;;shake]
(scramble;;scramble)
the frequency on your airwave is stuck on reverse;;
and your driving into crashed cars with your brake lights on.
(you missed the stop signs, you ignored the yield)
and now you're on a getaway from the men in blue.
I threw the food from my stomach at your feet,
showing you how every i-n-c-h of me was (yours)
and you laughed,
running your fingers in my hair
and fumbling with the buttons on your shirt.
My hazel eyes focused on the goosebumps in your arms,
silky lines following eavesdropping ears.
I always told you everything I couldn't hide.
I always gave you everything I couldn't keep for myself.
They took you away on that white [starchy] stretcher;;
your arm slipped out from beneath the blanket and dangled over the edge,
and I bit my tongue to keep from screaming.
(I have holes from all the times I clamped my tongue to keep from telling you the truth)
lit fireworks in your honor [they did;;they did]
and while I sat in comotose with the morphine killing my mind,
(I swear I felt you breathe on my neck)
and rattling every strand of black on my head,
i ridgidly lay on the edge of the hill,
and traced the cloud lines with my pink fingers.
I wished on the stars that were hidden by the sun,
closing my eyes and blowing the dandelion fluff into the air;;
and then I pushed off,
rolled down the hill and onto the concrete,
f-f-flying like never before,
spinning uncontrollably.
And landing.
[oh landing soso p e r f e c t l y]
face down in the dirt at the top of your grave.
oh, baby, baby;; you have been the one
[you have been the one for me]
Author notes
Username= Tinkerbell-Or-Me
Option= Dirty Pretty.
[Naked Peekaboo]
I hope this is allright love!
<333
A contest entry
- giiiive up babe && droown yourself in a.c.i.d [i lalalaloved you] by PaperChainHearts.
450 points, ended May 3, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ...i think we have an emergency ♥ by XweXareXbrokenX.
600 points, ended August 4, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [dirtyprettycontest]o.p.t.i.o.n.s by EliaNinja.
470 points, ended August 7, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The.Prettiest.Lies.You'll.Ever.See by Heartbeatsxfading.
300 points, ended September 6, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WeHaveToTakeOurClothesOff by MelissahhMidnite.
300 points, ended September 5, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Baby Tug The String On My Back, Maybe I'll Breathe A Little Longer.] by SarahEatsAirplane.
343 points, ended August 21, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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ooohhh!
This was immensely fascinating. I loved your unique style of writing and the way you played with the sounds of the words (it's has that much more impact read aloud).
I really loved how this mirrored the frantic insanity experienced after severe trauma. I couldn't pick out a favorite part, it was all so wonderful and perfect. Very vivid images here... they are still haunting my mind.
Very well done. Good luck in the contest!!!
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OMG. That was amazing. I really enjoyed it.
I can't explain how much it hurt my heart to read this. Amazing write!
I love it's ending.
&& It's beginning.
Great wor -
Speechless.
-
this is wonderful&& I love EVERY fucking line of this,
but these stood out the most:
"I b-b-bled sparkles all over your suicide letter;;
the one you taped to the foggy mirror,
[before expiring on the clean linoleum]
oh baby, you know how badly blood stains tile;;
(it'll take me years to get rid of the traces of you)
breathing in;;
lightening shivers down my ribcage
and.play.me.a.pretty.melody.
on
my
bones."
-
Amazing ♥ Just like the others!
-
thanks for entering...cuz this is exactly what i wanted
XweXareXbrokenX -
and your driving into crashed cars with your brake lights on.
(you missed the stop signs, you ignored the yield)
just loved those lines and then these ones.--
just how much you [lovelovelove] me
while I sat there with my pasted-on-smile,
shredding your notes with my torn fingers beneath the table.
i know that one, fake smiles and lies of love.
beautiful doll.
♥.love.
HisPrettyLady
-
[oh landing soso p e r f e c t l y]
face down in the dirt at the top of your grave.
oh, baby, baby;; you have been the one
[you have been the one for me]
mmm its not crap !
babydoll this a-a-a-a-amaze.
looooooves it ♥ -
hunthis is amaizing I <3 it I love you I think you can go far writing poetry I like how you never really keep with the same thing it's cute I love it I love you Tinka dinka do
<3's
-
baby.
this is far from crap.
you hold some much talent in the glitter dusting your fingertips.
&& i absolutely adore you.
you are an amazing[absolutely amazing] writer.
♥
-
Oh yea:
-
I accidently posted my comment be4 I was done!
this is dff a fave for me form you!!!
:
My hazel eyes focused on the goosebumps in your arms,
silky lines following eavesdropping ears.
I always told you everything I couldn't hide.
I always gave you everything I couldn't keep for myself.
!!!Ah. FAVE ENDING EVER:
wished on the stars that were hidden by the sun,
closing my eyes and blowing the dandelion fluff into the air;;
and then I pushed off,
rolled down the hill and onto the concrete,
f-f-flying like never before,
spinning uncontrollably.
And landing.
[oh landing soso p e r f e c t l y]
face down in the dirt at the top of your grave.
oh, baby, baby;; you have been the one
[you have been the one for me]
You.
have just.
created something
beautiful
Best
most original thing Ive read in AGES no, really.'
I swear<3333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
oh baby, you know how badly blood stains tile;;
(it'll take me years to get rid of the traces of you)
and double meaning
beautifully done-really<33333
Ka -
-
Awww thank you sweetie, I was almost certain it was horrible.
You just made my day. =]
♥
-
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