when I open my heart,
this is what I hear...
the sound of your laughter,
that I hold safe and near.
it keeps me so warm,
in the cold brittle night.
bringing images of you,
upon the pale moonlight.
the sound of your heart
beating next to mine,
true love's woven cadence
marching onward through time.
our time here is as fleeting,
like clouds in the sky.
and i dream this journey
until we say goodbye.
for when dawn breaks through,
the clouds are torn apart.
for this is what I hear...
when I open my heart.
In a list
- A. Writes that make me think I may actually have a little poet in me • next in list
- M. Gold Cups • next in list
A contest entry
- Another 24 Hours # 2 by poetryality.
300 points, ended March 7, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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nice gold. I thought this was a little hokey, but it was great at the same time. Sort of like the poems we had in school.
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Stunning entry and comforting to see it so well rewarded.
On a side-note, I usually check the author pages of most poets who catch my attention, and I absolutely loved "I'm a full-time domestic goddess, part-time intergalactic bounty hunter." on yours.
Hehehe ... kinda brings images of Geena Davis in "The Long Kiss Goodnight" to mind
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Thank you for your comment.
It's nice to see that some get my humor... and my occupation...
shhhhhh.
I haven't seen that movie, but I like Geena Davis, so I might search it out.
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congrats
easy to see why this one won gold, much deserved Blue Nose
...peace from east -(of Surrey) Terry
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As a Blue Nose, and one time Surrey Gal(by moving there only, mind ya... ) I thank you!
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awwwwww *snif*, that made me a little sad
sappy and sweet, suits my mood.
(PS: Just one suggestion, in the 4th stanza "our time here is fleeting / like clouds in the sky" or "our time here is as fleeting / as clouds in the sky" - I don't think the "as/like" is grammatically correct)
PS: Congrats on the gold!
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My grammar mentor!!! I suck at grammar, so I bow to your expertise.
Sorry to make you a little sad... would an offering of chocolate do?(it's an Eastern bunny that hopped into the house a little too early
)
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Beautiful! Lyrical! Soulful! This is about as close to perfect as it can get. I simply love this. The flow, rhyme, meter, contents... Wonderful!
Thank you ever so much for the time spent to enter my challenge with this poem that sings. I wish you all the very best.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Thank you! Wow...
Thank you for your wonderful comment and for hosting this great contest. Your ideas always seem to bring out the poet in me.
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this is a very romantic piece.it's that good kind of sappy the gives the extra something needed in romance.the rhyming is good and it flows well.my best to you in the contest.
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sappy.... that's me!
Thank you for the comment, and for reading.
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nicely done my friend, this captures the idea of the contest very well. enjoyed this very much, I like how you ended this pece with the sae words it started with, gives the piece a solid close I think...peace
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and liked the ending. I was searching for some 'non-stupid' way to end it, and decided to brng it full cricle.
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Ms Barbara, put down those romance novels. They are effecting the way you see the postman walk by. ----- Hi and thank you.
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Romance novels? Why, I have no romance novels.(hides all the Sherrilyn Kenyon books )
My mailman is a 'she', so... but, this may effect the way I see the construction guys down the block walking by.
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Aww this is really sad and emotional..Is that what you really here or is it part of only for the contest
Kari -
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A little of this, a little of that, and some fictional reality thrown in (I love ambiguous answers )
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