What’s happening
The world’s gone mad
The streets are crowded with breathing robots
Slaves to be free
No free will
I’m living in a world that can’t love
I’m searching for you
I need an answer
I’m searching
For something that is real
When did it all go wrong
Where did it all start
Will I be here for ever
I’ve realized
I can’t escape
I’ve created my own prison
A contest entry
- Imagery, Emotion, Imaginatinon by Commodore Rouge.
1050 points, ended November 30, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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thank you very much for your comment!
i've changed the errors, and i really appreciate that you noticed it!
glad you liked it!
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Nice Work
You did a good job with this. I like how after referring to the title the beginning of the poem, the first few lines tie insanely well with "Ive created my own prison" at the end. Which, I noticed, should be "created", not "crated". I did notice a few other minor errors, like in line six, there's a subject/verb agreement issue, because it shouldn't be "who", it should be "that", I'm pretty sure, because "world" isn't a person, it's a thing. I think this has potential to become a song. It reminds me of Skillet's "Looking for Angels".
Thanks for entering the contest. It's much appreciated.
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