Disinfranchised, destitute
Lonely and afraid
Living close to nothing
Living almost dead
Looking for that next meal
Dreams a luxury
Dealt some mighty fierce blows
The depth of which only God knows
Wives cast off by husbands
Children made casualties
Makes a strong man cry
And a woman fall to her knees
Days of endless struggles
Relief through caring friends
Plant some seeds of caring
Give to those in need
God will bless your efforts
Do this lofty deed
I know the need is great
But all that it will take
Is all of us relating
And doing the best we can
Reaching out and grasping
To each other's hand
Author notes
Option #2 (Homelessness) A mission in LA(Skid Row) is caring for so many and needs all of our help. Most prominent need is for food and baby formulae..call
1-800-964-food with any level of donation. Thank you...all my poet friends
A contest entry
- Congestion of Options- Ignite the Muse by FunnelWaxFate.
1000 points, ended June 22, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any... old or new thing ...at all! ...ANYTHING EVERYBODY!!!! by wendymolly.
750 points, ended June 16, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Real Poetry Contest by Oedhel.
525 points, ended October 20, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hurry by FindingFaith.
300 points, ended October 25, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything that has good rhyme!(pre-writes allowed) by ExpectingMommy18.
650 points, ended October 25, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unrecognized prewritten rhyme by piccola.
300 points, ended May 10, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is a series of phrases ...
and not whole sentences. It can't win anything here. I'd say withdraw it and enter a poem written in standard English. -
good rhyme and I too favor the last stanza. Thank you for entering.
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i love the last stanza in this piece!! It is so very true!! If only we took the time to extend a hand to those less fortunate!! Thank you for entering and good luck!
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Why thanks so much for this comment, I appreciate, this one is rather special
lol
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Many will be able to relate to your very thought provoking words. Nicely written with sad and deep contents. Well done and good luck with this wonderful entry.
Shaz xx
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Results...
Originality: 4/4 It’s original alright.
Rhythm: ¾ A few lines caught me up.
Wording: 4/4 Great wording, but a larger range of vocabulary would made it better.
Ease of Reading: 4/4 Flowed great.
Final Score: 15/16 I can actually relate to this poem since I spent 4 months in a youth shelter.
For a more extensive critique contact me after the close of the contest.
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Thank you so much for this excellent review and considerationlol
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Striking write! Very emotional and grasping in every aspect, really reaching out and clutching the heart with a ferocity of passion and truth. The lines, “Wives cast off by husbands/Children made casualties/Makes a strong man cry/And a woman fall to her knees” and “Is all of us relating/And doing the best we can/Reaching out and grasping/To each other's hand” really struck me the most. This poem really strikes the core and earnestly shakes and moves the reader. This is a very insightful, mournful, honest write that reveals there is hope if we stretch out our hands to help our fellow man when he’s down. Brilliant write!!!!
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Wow, thank you so much, I am honored that you spoke these beautiful words, I am sorry that I just now have caught them.lol
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Wow, this is amazing
great amazing work
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Thanks so much for this awesome review.
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