In water I'll burn,
And fire I'll drink.
Cause I both deserve
And they both are me.
I will drown in fire
And heat the water up.
In both, I feel desire,
They both are who I'm not.
In both fire and water
I am, and I'll stay.
From both them and me
I will get away.
Author notes
Title is inspired from Rammstein's "Feuer und wasser"(english: fire and water), lines not, thank God! (They do sound well in German rock, though')
You'll notice that in the first stanza I say that they both are me, in the next, I say they are who I'm not...just so you know, that was intentionally made, not just for rhyming...Not saying more! *sticks tongue out*
Also, I have to credit MissStanger for her quote... "You are what you're not, I'm not what I seem...that's why we're both equal". It kinda inspired me.
A contest entry
- Over 250 Poems by zhaniswolf.
350 points, ended July 23, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract Expressions by Aralyn Leighanna.
485 points, ended April 27, 2008, 10 entries
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you understand from "Fire and water"?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Im itching to know where these emotions came from to write a peice like this. Its very good, very interesting!
Thanks and good luck! -
wasn't too bad. there could possibly be more... i don't really know what to say. good luck.
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bravo!!!
a beautiful peice...great job! i don't fully understand what you are getting at though, some kind of metaphor? anyway, a great read, and I can tell you thought it out well. I also like the background.
~molly
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Thank you, Molly!
My point when writing this is exactly what penciledlives said: I am not white, nor black, yet I am both. I'm some sort of weird mixing, that isn't either of the parts
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This I thought was wonderful. Well thought, and put together. Well said. Well done.
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Wassup!
Hey, great poem. Liked the juxtaposition between the comparisons and contrasts that you posed within the poem. HOWEVER: You did the whole "get drown" thing again. It needs to be "I will drown." There's not "get" with it. Otherwise, good work. Keep it up.
P.s. check some of the punctuation -
love this.
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YUHUUUU
I'm going right now to look for the song!this poem is breath-taking,I don't know why but event as simple as it is in structure it has a uuuuge effect upon any humble reader like me who is ready to be inspired!I think that the very thoughful manner you mixed the words adds a lot to the message!well done indeed!well done! P.S:thanx for the credit -
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You deserve it!
Thankies ^_^!
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Extreme polarities...it says a lot. You are not one thing, but you are. You are neither black nor white, but you are both. Excellent poem!
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hmm...
first of all, I love that you were somewhat inspired by rammstein,one of my favorite bands.
secondly, this reminds me of one of my favorite poems ever( fire and ice, by Robert Frost).
ok so onto the constructive criticism...
this could use a littel bit of work in the grammer department.The first line in the second stanza is very strange,maybe consider taking out 'get'?and in the line right after that i would personally remove the 'up'.though,this is all simply opinion.
altogether a fantastic write, very inspiring...and i happen to like the fact that it contradicts itself.
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Ok, so would it work better like:
"I'll drown in fire,
Heat the water...
I feel in both desire,
They both are who I'm not"
I'm happy you didn't find the contradiction crazy...one of my friends told me to take care of the coherence of my poems(hope I spelled it right), because I use to have one feeling in one stanza, and another one, in another.
Now I have to make a non-poem related comment:
OH GOD YOU HEARD OF RAMMSTEIN! Not a lot of people listen to them, from what I've heard!
Thank you for your comment-now that I read the poem again, I do realise that "get" and "up" were pretty weird
Thankies^_^!
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