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Kidnapped by Satan



My cries for help go unheard
the voice inside of me screams
pain is enveloped and sent nowhere
it is here to reside in my soul


I stop requesting help
for nobody cares
this pain is mine
and mine alone
a possession unwanted
that possesses me
caresses me in an ugly way


I am a child of God
kidnapped by Satan
tortured in darkness and in pain
waiting to be rescued



















In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • sounds like rain
    March 29, 2007

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    Hello. I like the idea for this poem, but I feel like it could be better. You sort of tell more than you show, and you don't leave anything for the reader to wonder about. I'm wondering why Satan decided to kidnap you; it's not really explained.

    I feel, though, that many people can relate to this poem. Lots of people who believe in god feel like they are being taken to a dark place. I also think that many people have pain that hasn't been a direct result of their own actions, and in a way, that can be tied to when you write "caresses me in an ugly way."

    I'm not trying to be mean or tell you that you suck, or that you are a bad poet. Please don't take my comment like that. I truly am just trying to be honest. I would think that if there were more images, maybe metaphors, and more explanation this could be a very good poem.

    -Meagan


  • XHollowXEyesX
    March 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a awesome pice of writing. there is so much sadness and depth embedded within the words. I really love the whole piece, everything seems to flow together perfectly and with such meaning and truth.
    thankd for entering and goodluck


  • tawk gold member
    March 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow what a deep and dark write. I can so relate to your write. Excellent flow congrats on the bronze you so deserved it

    You have just been Hood-Winked


  • Lady Altheia
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    If you are a child of God, then you will be saved in just believing in him. Congrats on your bronze trophy


  • Frozentearz
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Now look at this congratulations on your award
    well done and thanks for sharing,
    Warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    March 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    3 claps...9pts

    Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list

    ~Lilac


  • Polaja Greeters member
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the last stanza ... the tone is so hopeless, yet so resolute. As long as we remember that God always gives us the tools that we need to overcome anything that the Devil may tempt or hold us with, there can be hope. A brilliantly dark write ...

    Stay strong and keep writing

    Polly


  • Twinstar
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Heartbreaking

    So sad, and heartbreaking that these terrible things really happen in our world. You have done a remarkable job bringing the picture to life in this dark poem. nice flow of words and good alliteration and well crafted. Congrats on the bronze! Well Deserved!
    Peace
    Debbera


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a fantastic example of how to write dark poetry with realistic emotions running through it, a well deserved win of the bronze trophy...

    A very profound poem, which touched me through the vulnerabilioty revealed through your words, I immediately related to the scene of inner turmoil and I like the way your poem compliments the picture so perfectly

    Love and smiles
    ~Lilac


  • Grey Mouser
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on earning a bronze for this deeply dark write. The hope for freedom from the darkness into which one has descended can sometimes be the only light left in the dismal dark. Well done.
    Mouser


  • mysticstorm gold member
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well done! A dark strong write of truth for so many. A soul tormented is so often found and so hard to deal with. This is wonderful and very deep.
    Thank you for entering!


  • CherylAnn
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Torment is never a good thing. you have told an unfortunate
    truth for a lot of people in this day and time. Satan and his demons
    are under attack and take prisoners. But our hope is in God to set us free.
    good penning
    good luck and thanks for entering
    blessings
    ~Cheryl~


  • undertones
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the lines "a possession unwanted
    that possesses me
    caresses me in an ugly way"

    chilling write!


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great interpretation of this picture - easy to read and understand the angst one feels in this situation. Dark, deep and had a good flow.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Wow, this is so sad and deep.
    To be lost in a world filled with
    so much pain, heartache, and evil is so
    difficult. Every day it leaves you lost
    in your own frustrations and turmoil.
    A short poem with a lot of meaning
    and emotions. Well done with this piece
    and thank you for sharing this here!
    Best of luck to you with it in the contest!



    Jeremy0826




















  • Spiritual Poet gold member
    March 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awwwww this is sad. God bless you, Mark Things will be ok

1 - 17 of 17