On summer's day I left to play
And wandered down lonely roads.
I saw a man from a dark, brown land
Who stared as I drew close
He grabbed my hand while passing by
And pleaded as though for very life
To never again pass this way
While so attired on summer's day
The poor dear man, I knew not why
He asked me no more to pass him by
But so perplexed and amused was I
I obeyed with laughing glee
Till twixt and twain, yes time forsooth
I soon forgot my hasty promise
And once more frolicked on summer's day
And just so happened to pass that way
When suddenly and lo! Upon my ear
A wail so enpained, yet crystal clear
The man looked upon me and I turned to stone
And suddenly I felt all alone
I stood there forever perhaps and a day
Humming to myself of wizard's and hay
When tramps there fell upon my ear
O how my heart stopped! But half a year.
A young prince came, him saddled high
His stubborn look scorched my eyes.
Startled the servants around me stood
There in that quiet, lonely wood
They tried all they could to get me out
But alas! No better it could not be doubt
So they trod away without backward glance
And there I stood. So much for romance.
Another eternity, I waited for bliss
A spell once called the True Love's Kiss
Many people did I see pass me by
None seemed to have the Samaritan's time
One little boy used to around me play
He'd tell me stories from dusk till day
Until at last he was sent away
And I stood there all alone.
More seasons past, and hope soon died
Like little fairy's who had lost their flight
So there I stood and began to cry
When a stranger drew near to me
He looked at my tears and dried my eyes
The calloused young hands seemed to give new life
My face felt on fire and began to sting
I touched my lips and began to sing
I sang a song from long ago
Yet this boy knew it and joined in too
Then he grabbed me up in tender embrace
And asked if I knew his smiling face
I began to tell him I did not know
But flash! The boy from long ago!
The one who'd never leave my side
And who'd often tell me, my eyes were his guide
He told me about how he sailed the seas
In hopes of finding a cure for me
That he'd hear me sing to him in his dreams
Like a lark on meadow clear
His eyes spoke truth from his boyish face
As he asked me to spend with him all my days
To always see my sunny face
And to while away our years
So I did.
Author notes
This sort of came to me after I'd read a couple of chapters of Macbeth. I started writing one line and then I just couldn't stop, so I hope ya'll like.
A contest entry
- Fairy Tales - Retell or Remake them! PREWRITES OK more points as we go! by Melissa Burns.
425 points, ended May 6, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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It's really good, it reminds me a little of this fairy tale I love about a spoiled girl who troad on a loaf of bread and got turned to stone. Anyways, orginal and nice, thank you very much for entering it into my humble little contest.
ps - he always does that to me too when I read it! -
This had the whole fairy tale feeling going on all through it! I really enjoyed this write, and your story-telling skills definitely are up to par if you ask me. Telling a tale is something that's so hard for me to do, so that's awesome that you're so good at it!
"They tried all they could to get me out
But alas! No better it could not be doubt
So they trod away without backward glance
And there I stood. So much for romance."
Ah, that line almost made me laugh because that's how most people are! They'll try for a very short time but give up so easily on something that could've been. Loved those thoughts there, but I have to say that I'm glad that the poem didn't end like that! Great write.
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Pleased
Like honey to the ears this poem is to my taste buds..No wait, I got that backward, but yeah you get it. I totally didn't lick my moniter. *scrubs at screen*. But jokes aside this poem is definately pleasing to the ears as well as an interesting story. I like the "Samaritans time" phrase. Tis very cool. Well done sis, and I disagree to what you said the other night, this is for sure not a pointless piece. Rawk on!
C. Micheal Maynard
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Oooh nice simile. Yeah, I'd appreciate if you'd keep your tongue of my poem, it's a very delicate piece of art thank you. sniff. Jk Yeah, I thought of you when I wrote about the Samaritan's time, seems like something you'd enjoy. Thanks for your sweet comment, honey licked and all.
Sunny
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Unstopable story!
An interesting story! Macbeth is somewhat fuzzy in my head so I'm not sure if I recognize elements from the story. Loved that third line right at the beginning "I saw a man from a dark, brown land" A good 'hook' to get the reader in there. Good reference to no Samaritans with all the people passing by. "so much for romance" - a lot of good lines in here
I got a little lost in the time line but a good story. Jadon
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Thanks Jadon! I always appreciate your critiques, they really give good feedback. Yeah, my time line wasn't really clear, it was kinda like she had been turned to stone and time didn't really phase her like other people, so she was approximately the same age of the guy that loved her. As for when and where this all happened....use your imagination. ^_^ Thanks again.
Sunny -
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Time line not an overly important in the categories you chose or fantasy . "As for when and where this all happened, when caught up in the story it didn't seem to matter as imagination takes over. Jadon
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lol Thanks flatterer.
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dang...
wow..that was awesome. By far your longest...but the flow and the story, awesome. And you got this from Macbeth? Ok, good, I can honestly say know the poem has actually served some purpose.
Keep up the awesome writing!!!
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Thanks. The poem itself isn't really from Macbeth, it just put me in the mood to write this story...thing. Glad it helped you though, always glad to be of help, though I think you were doing the helping.
Sunny
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