This Crap is Old

What the heck is wrong
I cant find where I belong
These gosh dang people knock me down
As soon as I try to get off the ground
Damned if I do,damned if I dont
What do these freaking people want
I can't forget my past mistakes
They twist and wrap around my mind like snakes
In my head all I can hear
Is how I imagine all my friends jeer
Me,I just know they hate
How I am overweight
How its pathetic that I try to hang
With the older crowd, the older gang
With my own age I can not relate
But anyone else I believe I irritate
How I long to be accepted
But I know I shall always feel rejected
To them I feel inferior
Shut out, on the exterior
I'm stuck between with no way out
No one can hear me,no matter how loud I shout
I long for someone just to say
With me you will always be ok
To sit with someone who will understand
That untill you tell me otherwise I do believe I you reprimand
For someone just to let me explain
How sometimes I have just went insane
When ever I try to speak
I hear myself sounding like a freak
Whatever I try to do
I believe people think I have a loose screw
I've lost many a friend
For something I couldn't control or didn't intend
Some of them with which I still talk
But behind my back,do they mock
I really do hope a few of them,me they have forgave
But to talk it all out with them I do so crave
I'm surounded by these great people who I do love so dear
What I believe they think of me always brings my eye to tear
I really want to believe that of me they think highly
But I just know that they speak of me dryly
To be tortured like this so
These thoughts to always have to forego
I still wish my soul I could slay
To make it through I just have to pray
For relief from this insanity
What keeps me alive is my christianity
When I take a look at my scar
I tell myself that's not who you are
There is so much left to tell
But for now I bid farewell