The dawn moans in calm pleasure
Sirens and drone from swaying beaks
Your notes once pathed within these ears
Oh the dawn envied your voice of beauty
Empty shores wipe light kisses
meets wet skies of wetful lips
Just one kiss, a kiss...
Days I've hunted for your flesh
The flesh that taste fine to my sprit
Oh what soft and cool skin
That held that soul
...my soul within
What beautiful white swan
Tis so lovely your face as calm
Love, is that you
approaching?
Author notes
In hopes its him she then washes the shors as she washings it wet as it kisses the sky
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I see you got some good comments on this poem. Congratulations. Thank you for entering it in my contest.
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Ooh Vivid
loveleh.
I love it a lot I really do
I'm at a loss for words
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this has some good imagery. it is very vivid! great poem and i wish you good luck in my twin's contest. Merry Christmas!
~Dommi
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This is a nice write. I can picture the scene that you're talking about as I read the words on the page. Great flow to this one as well, another great write. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
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wow itis diffrent to most poems the layout and stuff but the poem fab good luck
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A very lovely poem, filled with imagery. I love swans.
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Beautiful
Oh the lost memories of love on the way just brought back such a lovely feeling
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THis is a wonderful write miss Aurielle. I wish I had commented on this before. But hey, your works always off of the regular charts. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing ma'am. God bless you
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Beautiful
Very good write. Keep up the good work.
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i really like this peace its great
i expesholy like the line
Oh what soft and cool skin
That held that soul
...my soul within
verry tutching great wright -
The first striking thing about this poem is the background. Its deep, purple brings out a subtle feeling to everything and it set this poem in the right mood. I love the way you wrote this, so much emotion brought out so well.
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so beautiful, i love the ending, its amazing how you have turned love almost into a real person
great write, good luck in the contest
lucy
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This was a beautiful write here and yes in many ways you can see love comeing
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"Empty shores wipe light kisses
meets wet skies of wetful lips
Just one kiss, a kiss..."
This is written so eloquently! The first time I have been to your page (I think), so many names so little brain power left after college
The stanza in this comment is my favorite in the piece. I did find some areas in the third stanza that you may want to alter the words just a little.
"Flesh" in that stanza is a strong word but it seems to loose its power when used in the next sentence.
Good writing here, you are very creative! I will be reading more of your work!
Thanks--
Katina
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This is the second poem of yours that I have found from you today!
I like the picture. It is very dramatic and romantic looking. This one too is filled with lots of pretty images and romantic longing. I could feel a little erotic thoughts going on in this but you don't state them directly and I liked that. This poem had a nice feel to it too.
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A very powerful write on feelings of love so deep and passionate, a real joy to read, keep writing. Well done
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Wow what wonderful imagery and emotion running throughout your write. Excellent flow and content. I so enjoyed reading this
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I loved this. I dont think I have ever been in love this much and I KNOW I could never write a love poem this good.
What beautiful white swan
Tis so lovely your face as calm
Love, is that you
approaching?
I loved that line. Wonderful job! Keep it up!
Taylor.
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longing and passion
well expressed here in a dramatic small poem about feelings good use of metaphor...very well done ...PK
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