I.
I admit that I have a problem when it's three a.m. and I'm pleading with myself for a choice in the wrong direction.
Starving for a voice from mile's away.
I spoke as if I was prepared for this, but your words consumed me and I soon cracked like a hurricane when the pressure drops. You were malicious and capricious as the wind changed.
I was willing to be tortured and knew you would eventually ruin what's left of me, but I took you on like I presumed to.
There was no looking back when you faithfully closed in over me and reached into the closed rooms, that only you found a way into. I found you underneath my fingernails, and between my thoughts, you spread into me like a chain reaction blistering my thighs, rolling yourself into my lungs where every breath tasted as I thought you would.
You are dangerous to my health, and contorting my last thought to sanity.
II.
My mouth is burning, and I find it more amusing to just let you torment me.
I laughed when you directed me where to go, and found myself, wishing that it would be so much easier if you came with guidance yourself, because I think I have let this go to far.
I found your voice in everything I did, controlling me. And I was not afraid, because I had let you in,
inside of me.
III.
I think I might be the only person
who depends on the way your words sound,
hansom and brave.
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that works harder than your heart. And I found out this all by hearing you talk. Every word carefully chosen to drip into me over telephone wires and long distance.
I find it in it your breathing when your sleeping without dreaming,
screaming the words that contain me.
I wanted to truncate your voice by devouring every inch I thought I could, but I couldn't hold on to you for that long.
IV.
You slipped me inside of myself, just so I could see what you were doing to me. And I felt a little out of place. I clawed at your face and wanted to get out of there and yet, the more I think about it, the more I realize that it was your words that saved me.
I know I will never be what you need forever, only what you need for the time being.
But, your voice is what drags me on.
Pounding shackles against my soul until I tasted you,
and never felt better.
V.
Even though,
my nails are bitten almost to the bone and nothing seems more logical then hanging up on you and taking another hit,
just to drown out your voice resounding in my ears.
Because I've come to the conclusion now that this is war,
and I can't take the pressure your voice leaves on me after the night falls.
I think I'm the only one who's having trouble breathing
with your lips suctioned around my neck like fingers scraping the sanity from me.
But, I know that if I ever fully lost it,
I would find the remains of yesterday pilled up in a heap of false breathing.
Author notes
ughhh.. kind of hard to understand.
highly personal..
doubt you even understand..
but i hope you do.
or can at least interpret it in your own way..
heather.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Beautifully tragic
I've been sitting here for the past 5-7 minutes, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this. This was... overwhelming, like a very rich chocolate, yet the content is not sweet in any way. One of those things that seep into every pore, and wraps itself over your head. As you said, HIGHLY personal, and emotional. I do understand this. To the point where I thought you were writing about me. But I ended it. No matter how much I loved him, and a part of me always will, he hurt me in the most deepening, and incomprehensible way. Even if he didn't realize he was doing it. Hell, I didn't realize it til two years later. You'll find your strength, dear. Who needs sanity anyway? It only gets in the way of creativity. lol. Hugs and kisses to you, sweet, talented girl. I've been away from your page for far too long.
A riveting piece that tears at the heart, and rekindles past memories. Harrowing. Beautiful.
~S.
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I like this. I love how it's like a story, with different chapters that describe the progression of the relationship and what he does to you.
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i understood this completely...as i have been there before too many times. sorry i haven't been around much, i can see i've been missing out on your flawless pieces. you take such a painful situation and turn it into art, that's why i've always been able to appreciate your writing. outstanding job, i promise to read more.
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yeah ....
Mesmerizing write ... Although I sometimes re-read other poems for clarity ... I re-read yours to drink it all in ... glad to have found you.
TW
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Thank you,
I am glad that you liked it.
<33.
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fiiiiiiiirst.
I like how this didn't seem like a poem.
the lines were too long so it was more like a poetic story.
nice nice nice.
I understand this. hurts and stings.
I'm sorry honey that this person is getting to you in such an awful way.
I'm here if you ever need to talk.
beautiful emotion that you produced here.
it was thick and heavy... like maple syrup on a sunday morning.
love you dollykins <3
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Thanks hunnie. I really appreciate it. And yea it's been hard.. I know I shouldn't let someone get to me as I have.
But, it's just some things never change.
It's like I need him to be that way to me
or my day isn't the same..
I don't know how to explain it lol.
But, I really appreciate your comment love.
love you sugarface.<3.
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